Active childwnd caption is grayed?!?!?

What am I doing wrong.. All my child windows are painting with grayed/dimmed captions as though they are not active. Like imagine you had two document windows open in microsoft word, even when you click one to bring it to the front it is still gray title bar.

Maybe I have the wrong window styles set? Or this active title bar stuff is something that must be done manually?

Here are my parent window style:WS_OVERLAPPEDWINDOW|WS_CLIPCHILDREN|WS_VISIBLE

Child window:WS_OVERLAPPEDWINDOW|WS_CHILD|WS_CLIPSIBLINGS|WS_VISIBLE|WS_VSCROLL|WS_HSCROLL

Thanks