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Thread: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

  1. #1576
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Michigan, USA
    Posts
    864

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    This may have been posted already but...

    The perfect man:

    A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just
    going by. He got into the taxi, and he said to the Cabbie said,
    "perfect timing, you got here just at the time I needed you.

    The Cabbie said, "You're just like Frank."

    Passenger: "Who?"

    Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything
    right all the time. Like you coming out just as I was coming along when you
    needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

    Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

    Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete.
    He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the
    pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway
    star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an
    amazing guy."

    Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."

    Cabbie: "There's more ... He had a memory like a computer.
    He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine,
    which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix
    anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street
    blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."

    Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."

    Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and
    avoid traffic jams. Not like me. I always seem to get stuck in
    them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to
    treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back
    even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always
    immaculate, shoes highly polished too - He was the perfect man! He
    never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank
    Feldman"

    Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

    Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died and I
    made the mistake of marrying his freaking widow."
    Verere testudinem! (Fear the turtle)

    Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy. -Albert Einstein

    Robots are trying to steal my luggage.

  2. #1577
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Sunny South Africa
    Posts
    11,268

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Photo of Me in the Bath :
    Last edited by HanneSThEGreaT; June 14th, 2010 at 05:42 AM.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    All my Articles
    Hannes

  3. #1578
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Michigan, USA
    Posts
    864

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    If that is you, where is the rubber ducky?
    Verere testudinem! (Fear the turtle)

    Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy. -Albert Einstein

    Robots are trying to steal my luggage.

  4. #1579
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Sunny South Africa
    Posts
    11,268

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Man vs. Technology
    Last edited by HanneSThEGreaT; June 14th, 2010 at 05:44 AM.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    All my Articles
    Hannes

  5. #1580
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    12

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Come on over boy!

  6. #1581
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Michigan, USA
    Posts
    864

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    So a termite walks into a bar and says
    "Bartender, where is the bar tender?"
    Verere testudinem! (Fear the turtle)

    Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy. -Albert Einstein

    Robots are trying to steal my luggage.

  7. #1582
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    54

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    E: Is Sushi made from a dead fish ?
    A: No it is raw
    E: ! yummy the dead fish!

  8. #1583
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    54

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    E: I need tuuuu Sheeetss on my bed!
    A: No, not on bed but in the toilet sir!

  9. #1584
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Fox Lake, IL
    Posts
    15,007

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    An Aussie was marooned on a desert island. His only companions were a male dog and a female koala. The dog and koala hit it off, and for a year the Aussie could only sit and watch while the dog humped the koala senseless.

    "Lucky *******!" thought the Aussie, "I could do with a good shag myself. "

    One day a beautiful naked blonde was washed up on the beach.

    "Hi. I'll do anything you want me to," she said to the Aussie.

    "Great!!! At last, after all this time!!! Take the dog for a walk, love, while I shag this koala."
    - David
    Last edited by dglienna; July 22nd, 2010 at 02:49 PM. Reason: EDIT: Censored the B***D word?
    David

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  10. #1585
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    JHB South Africa
    Posts
    3,772

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    When I saw this i just could not resist.. (especially considering the recent upgrade problems)...

    Name:  480019_390722627648303_1576231324_n.jpg
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Size:  66.9 KB
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    Find me in ASP.NET., VB6., VB.NET , Writing Articles, My Genealogy, Forum
    All VS.NET: posts refer to VS.NET 2008 (Pro) unless otherwise stated.

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