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Thread: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

  1. #766
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Best Joke as far I have seen Saint .

  2. #767
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    No Offence Meant!

    Please circulate this message around the office and make sure everyone takes part on Friday.
    The Leaders of the world are asking for your support to combat terrorism and we are being encouraged to demonstrate against them this Friday at 15:00 hours.

    It is a well-known fact that the Taliban are against alcohol consumption and think it is sinful to look at a naked woman. Therefore, at 15:00 this Friday, all women should run naked through the office while men chase them with a beer in their hands.

    This is the best way to show our disgust for the Taliban and will hopefully help us in detecting the terrorists among us (anybody who doesn't do as proposed will be deemed a terrorist, denounced to the world and shot).

    Your efforts are much appreciated in the name of a free, democratic world.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    All my Articles
    Hannes

  3. #768
    Ejaz's Avatar
    Ejaz is offline Elite Member Power Poster
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Between Sanity and Insanity

    1. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman. Before marriage and after marriage.

    2. Never believe in 'love at first sight'. It's always best to take a second look.

    3. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

    4. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

    5. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

    6. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

    7. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

    8. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

    9. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

    10. You can't buy love . . . but you pay heavily for it.

    11. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

    12. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

    13. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

    14. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

    15. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

    16. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

    17. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

    18. You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

    19. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job; he still ends up with the same boss.

    20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

    21. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

    22. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

    23. Common sense is good to have, but never let it master you for then it might deprive you of the foolish things it's fun to do.

    24. Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why the wife treats her husband like toxic waste...

  4. #769
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    I really liked

    20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
    Life is short, enjoy it with a smile as long as it lasts.
    User error. Replace User and press any key when ready. - Anonymous

  5. #770
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Since no one wanted to post cheeky and dirty jokes here, I'll.

    Assuming that one day, some guy tell you "Go **** y*ur **m".
    The cheekiest replies in the world would be the following :

    1) Wanna join us?
    2) Thanks for reminding me!
    3) Ask your m** to join in too!
    4) You do mine, I'll do yours!
    5) Sure, at your place!
    6) I'm done already.
    7) Sorry bro....just did it yesterday. Maybe tomorrow.
    8) U jealous?
    9) Been there, done that. Twas' fun!
    10) I've done it already. Both our screams woke up the neighbours.

    Good day,
    Xeon.
    "Hell is calling for you!" - Rufus, from Valkyrie Profile 2 : Silmeria

    "I'm getting tired of you devils.....finishing strike......Final Blast!" - Arngrim, from Valkyrie Profile 2 : Silmeria

  6. #771
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Quote Originally Posted by Ejaz
    12. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
    This is one pretty much true

  7. #772
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Enjoy....

    An older gentleman was standing at a bus stop, observing a young man
    with orange, green, and blue spiked hair. After a few moments, the
    young man said, "What's the matter, old man, haven't you ever done
    anything wild?"

    The old man smiled and said, "Well, yes. I once had sex with a parrot,
    and I was wondering if you were my son."

    Regards

    John
    I don't mind that you think slowly but I do mind that you are publishing faster than you think. Wolfgang Pauli, physicist, Nobel laureate (1900-1958)

  8. #773
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    hahaha good one...
    Come Join This Poll Where are we from? (Ultimate)

    Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do. - Johann Wolfgang
    An idle brain is the devil's workshop. - unknown

  9. #774
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Quote Originally Posted by Ejaz
    8. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
    Umm...didn't understand this one.
    Even if our suggestions didn't help, please post the answer once you find it. We took the effort to help you, please return it to others.

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  10. #775
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Quote Originally Posted by Mathew Joy
    Umm...didn't understand this one.
    Well, its like telling someone that, he is not the only one who fails. But its a rude way to say, isn't it?

  11. #776
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Quote Originally Posted by Ejaz
    Well, its like telling someone that, he is not the only one who fails. But its a rude way to say, isn't it?
    Hmmm...
    Even if our suggestions didn't help, please post the answer once you find it. We took the effort to help you, please return it to others.

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  12. #777
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    Lightbulb Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Code:
    Need one gal 2 marry... Age no bar
    Color no bar
    height no bar
    caste no bar
    but gal's father must have his own bar... CHEERS
    Code:
    The wife stands in front of a mirror."you know, dear," she says, "I look
    in
    the mirror & I see an old woman, face wrinkled, fat legs & flabby arms"
    She turns to her husb & says, "Tell me something positive to make me
    feel
    better about myself."
    He says in a soft voice,"your eye sight is perfect"

  13. #778
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    The Wrong Email

    A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he
    decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

    Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her
    husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the 1st
    message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room found his
    mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:





    To: My Loving Wife

    Subject: I've reached

    Date: January 31, 2004

    I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here; we
    are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!

    Your loving Hubby


    Even if our suggestions didn't help, please post the answer once you find it. We took the effort to help you, please return it to others.

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  14. #779
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Quote Originally Posted by humptydumpty
    Code:
    The wife stands in front of a mirror."you know, dear," she says, "I look
    in
    the mirror & I see an old woman, face wrinkled, fat legs & flabby arms"
    She turns to her husb & says, "Tell me something positive to make me
    feel
    better about myself."
    He says in a soft voice,"Honey, your eye sight is perfect"
    :Sigh: Romantic. I think you are the second person to post such in this thread. One ISTR is about catching the eye.

    Just added a word to make it better. Well, spot the difference
    Even if our suggestions didn't help, please post the answer once you find it. We took the effort to help you, please return it to others.

    * While posting code sections please use CODE tags
    * Please check the codeguru FAQ and do a little search to see if your question have been answered before.
    * Like a post, Rate The Post
    * I blog: Network programming, Bible

    I do all things thru CHRIST who strengthens me

  15. #780
    John E is offline Elite Member Power Poster
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    There is more money being spent in the world today on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that in about 40 years time, we'll have a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections - but absolutely no recollection of what to do with them...!
    "A problem well stated is a problem half solved. - Charles F. Kettering

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