CodeGuru Home VC++ / MFC / C++ .NET / C# Visual Basic VB Forums Developer.com
Page 60 of 106 FirstFirst ... 10505758596061626370 ... LastLast
Results 886 to 900 of 1586

Thread: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

  1. #886
    John E is offline Elite Member Power Poster
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Manchester, England
    Posts
    4,595

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Maybe I should have put this on the Religion thread (oh, what the **** - I'll put it there too....)

    Q) What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?

    A) Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
    "A problem well stated is a problem half solved. - Charles F. Kettering

  2. #887
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    1,255

    Talking Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    A dog?
    lol!
    Dog save the week!

  3. #888
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    576

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Yes, but can you scientifically proove that dogs exist?

    [edit: sorry to all the people who had no idea why I was referring to buying scientific proof of the existence of dogs if they read this earlier... See MrRee quoting me below for more info]
    Last edited by Zeb; September 27th, 2005 at 10:54 PM.

  4. #889
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    muahaha
    Posts
    84

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Quote Originally Posted by Zeb
    Yes, buy can you scientifically proove the dogs exist?
    dogs didn't exist...because, dogs didn't exist...but the dogs didn't exist...they didn't exist anyway....

    ...???...
    ...don't blame me...when I smell nicc 'o' tyne...
    ...friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support..


  5. #890
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Bangalore, India
    Posts
    1,354

    E-volution



    Even if our suggestions didn't help, please post the answer once you find it. We took the effort to help you, please return it to others.

    * While posting code sections please use CODE tags
    * Please check the codeguru FAQ and do a little search to see if your question have been answered before.
    * Like a post, Rate The Post
    * I blog: Network programming, Bible

    I do all things thru CHRIST who strengthens me

  6. #891
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Timisoara, Romania
    Posts
    14,360

    Re: E-volution

    A mail from the husband to the wife:
    Sweetheart:

    I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.

    You are my sweetheart

    Your husband
    Allen
    The wife replied back after some days to her husband:
    Dearest sweetheart,

    Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details:

    1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
    2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
    3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses
    instead of the rent.
    4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some
    other items...........
    5. Other expenses 40 kisses

    Please don't worry for me; I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I
    hope I can complete the month using this balance.

    Shall I plan same way for next months, please advice!!!

    Your Sweet Heart
    Marius Bancila
    Home Page
    My CodeGuru articles

    I do not offer technical support via PM or e-mail. Please use vbBulletin codes.

  7. #892
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    muahaha
    Posts
    84

    Re: E-volution

    there it is...I go change its water...

    ...???...
    ...don't blame me...when I smell nicc 'o' tyne...
    ...friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support..


  8. #893
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Bangalore, India
    Posts
    1,354

    Re: E-volution

    A manager to his employee: "It has come to our attention that you have a private life"
    2 1
    Even if our suggestions didn't help, please post the answer once you find it. We took the effort to help you, please return it to others.

    * While posting code sections please use CODE tags
    * Please check the codeguru FAQ and do a little search to see if your question have been answered before.
    * Like a post, Rate The Post
    * I blog: Network programming, Bible

    I do all things thru CHRIST who strengthens me

  9. #894
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    London, England
    Posts
    563

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Apologies about the caps.

    This is a story why I fired my secretary.....

    LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL WAKING UP THAT MORNING. I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE PLEASANT AND SAY, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A PRESENT FOR ME.

    AS IT TURNED OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET ALONE "HAPPY
    BIRTHDAY."

    I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE KIDS WILL
    REMEMBER. MY KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD. SO WHEN I LEFT FOR THE OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY LOW AND SOMEWHAT DESPONDENT.

    AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY JANE SAID, "GOOD MORNING,
    BOSS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" IT FELT A LITTLE BETTER THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE
    HAD REMEMBERED. I WORKED UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE, AND IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, LET'S GO OUT TO LUNCH, JUST YOU AND ME."

    I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY.
    LET'S GO!"

    WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE NORMALLY WOULD GO. WE DINED INSTEAD AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE TABLE. WE HAD TWO
    MARTINIS EACH AND I ENJOYED THE MEAL TREMENDOUSLY

    ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A
    BEAUTIFUL DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK TO THE OFFICE, DO WE?" I
    RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?" SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT."

    AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND SAID, "BOSS,
    IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO THE BEDROOM FOR A MOMENT.
    I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."

    "OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED.

    SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES, SHE CAME OUT CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE... FOLLOWED BY MY WIFE, KIDS, AND DOZENS OF MY FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS, ALL SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".

    AND I JUST SAT THERE ....





    ON THE COUCH .....





    NAKED.
    I don't mind that you think slowly but I do mind that you are publishing faster than you think. Wolfgang Pauli, physicist, Nobel laureate (1900-1958)

  10. #895
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Bangalore, India
    Posts
    1,354

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Quote Originally Posted by Vaderman
    Apologies about the caps.
    Thought you were shouting

    Even if our suggestions didn't help, please post the answer once you find it. We took the effort to help you, please return it to others.

    * While posting code sections please use CODE tags
    * Please check the codeguru FAQ and do a little search to see if your question have been answered before.
    * Like a post, Rate The Post
    * I blog: Network programming, Bible

    I do all things thru CHRIST who strengthens me

  11. #896
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Timisoara, Romania
    Posts
    14,360

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Vaderman, thas a great joke. *rotfl*
    Marius Bancila
    Home Page
    My CodeGuru articles

    I do not offer technical support via PM or e-mail. Please use vbBulletin codes.

  12. #897
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Kashmir, India
    Posts
    6,808

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Quote Originally Posted by Vanderman
    AND I JUST SAT THERE ....





    ON THE COUCH .....





    NAKED.
    ROFLMAO
    I haven't laughed like this for a long time.

    That was really great
    Last edited by vb_the_best; September 29th, 2005 at 07:12 AM.

  13. #898
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    California
    Posts
    334

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    A ship is on a long voyage with a captain that likes the bottle.

    After a few days, the First Mate writes in the log: "Today the Captain was drunk."

    Next day, he writes again: "Today the Captain was drunk."

    Third day, again: "Today the Captain was drunk."

    Then the Captain tells the First Mate, "I don't want you to write that in the log."

    "OK," says the First Mate, and a few days go by. Then he writes: "Today the Captain was sober."
    Henri Hein
    Principal Engineer, Propel
    Do not credit Propel with my views or opinions.

  14. #899
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    London, England
    Posts
    563

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Don Rumsfeld is giving George "W" Bush his daily briefing and tells him
    that three Brazilian soldiers have been killed in Iraq.

    George says "that's absolutely terrible", is lost for words, and holds
    his head in his hands for several minutes. His staff are amazed at the
    response, and the whole room stays silent.

    Finally George lifts his head from the table and says "exactly how many
    is a brazillion?"
    I don't mind that you think slowly but I do mind that you are publishing faster than you think. Wolfgang Pauli, physicist, Nobel laureate (1900-1958)

  15. #900
    John E is offline Elite Member Power Poster
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Manchester, England
    Posts
    4,595

    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    What is a mistress....

    I've been told its halfway between a mister and a mattress. Is that about right...?
    "A problem well stated is a problem half solved. - Charles F. Kettering

Page 60 of 106 FirstFirst ... 10505758596061626370 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Windows Mobile Development Center


Click Here to Expand Forum to Full Width




On-Demand Webinars (sponsored)