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Thread: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

  1. #931
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    Re: A joke

    well for next time...
    Mike

  2. #932
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    Re: A joke

    Yeah I'll remember next time...
    Sure is funny though

  3. #933
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    Re: A joke

    Have nice days... and forgive me for delay: I am really busy in these days. In any case, story sounds funny, hoping who tells is ...a nerd of us!
    ...at present time, using mainly Net 4.0, Vs 2010



    Special thanks to Lothar "the Great" Haensler, Chris Eastwood , dr_Michael, ClearCode, Iouri and
    all the other wonderful people who made and make Codeguru a great place.
    Come back soon, you Gurus.

  4. #934
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    [ merged threads ]
    Get this small utility to do basic syntax highlighting in vBulletin forums (like Codeguru) easily.
    Supports C++ and VB out of the box, but can be configured for other languages.

  5. #935
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    Re: A joke

    Quote Originally Posted by Cimperiali
    Have nice days... and forgive me for delay: I am really busy in these days. In any case, story sounds funny, hoping who tells is ...a nerd of us!
    Hey Guru,
    Where are you now a days? CG is missing you and me too?

  6. #936
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Official Language of the European Union
    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and would become known as "Euro-English" after a 5-year phase-in plan.

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm.

    In the sekond year the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer pepl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
    /if zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl...
    Ovidiu
    "When in Rome, do as Romans do."
    My latest articles: http://codexpert.ro/blog/author/ovidiu-cucu/

  7. #937
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Not really a joke...

    The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:
    "Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper using a barometer."



    One student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."

    This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately. He appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

    For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use. On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:

    "Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H=0.5g xt squared. But bad luck on the barometer!

    Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper.

    But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T=2 pi squareroot (l/g).

    "Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."

    "If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."

    But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

    The student was Niels Bohr, the only Dane to ever win the Nobel prize for Physics.

  8. #938
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Official Language of the European Union
    zats a gud one, but... Did you know it was first released when Arnold became governer, and it was about the English spoken in Kalifornia?
    Marius Bancila
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  9. #939
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    I liked very much the story of Euro-English and the story of the barometer. They are excellent.

    A German man meets a British woman in a pub in London. He wants to impress her with his knowledge of English, and orders himself the drinks:
    - Two Viskys, please
    - Dry?
    - Nein, zwei.

  10. #940
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    I think the one on english has been posted befor. but it`s a nice 1.
    Realistically, it actually be nice to have some form of speling reform for english. the current speling system is a nuisance to learn and many times a nuisance to use as wel

    wat do u think?
    Ai n mai speling sks, bt ai du it mainfuli
    http://www.geocities.jp/juuhassai/i_rouseiji.html

  11. #941
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    You know what?
    This thread has crossed another milestone....
    It has reached 25,000 views!!!
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    My latest article: Explicating the new C++ standard (C++0x)

    Do rate the posts you find useful.

  12. #942
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Quote Originally Posted by olivthill
    I liked very much the story of Euro-English and the story of the barometer. They are excellent.

    A German man meets a British woman in a pub in London. He wants to impress her with his knowledge of English, and orders himself the drinks:
    - Two Viskys, please
    - Dry?
    - Nein, zwei.
    I knew the real version of that story with a German spy++ in London...
    Anyhow, given the fact that my job often requires talking with German fellows, I have tried to learn German.
    No sweat. I already know the numbers from one to six: ein, zwei, polizei, drei, vier, grenadier...
    Ovidiu
    "When in Rome, do as Romans do."
    My latest articles: http://codexpert.ro/blog/author/ovidiu-cucu/

  13. #943
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Quote Originally Posted by ovidiucucu
    I knew the real version of that story with a German spy++ in London...
    Anyhow, given the fact that my job often requires talking with German fellows, I have tried to learn German.
    No sweat. I already know the numbers from one to six: ein, zwei, polizei, drei, vier, grenadier...

    Addictive to MS tools that much??
    My latest article: Explicating the new C++ standard (C++0x)

    Do rate the posts you find useful.

  14. #944
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Quote Originally Posted by hitai
    I think the one on english has been posted befor. but it`s a nice 1.
    Realistically, it actually be nice to have some form of speling reform for english. the current speling system is a nuisance to learn and many times a nuisance to use as wel

    wat do u think?
    Yes indeed. Especially one of the 3rd year reforms will be very useful: "the removal of double letters..."
    That will avoid such unpleasant situations when in a formal e-mail you can do the following little mistake:
    Please, take a look above and bellow!
    /sincerely... I made it once...
    Ovidiu
    "When in Rome, do as Romans do."
    My latest articles: http://codexpert.ro/blog/author/ovidiu-cucu/

  15. #945
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    Re: AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

    Quote Originally Posted by Ajay Vijay

    Addictive to MS tools that much??
    Well, just habits.
    It's like saying man++ to Superman.
    Ovidiu
    "When in Rome, do as Romans do."
    My latest articles: http://codexpert.ro/blog/author/ovidiu-cucu/

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