I understand,
I don't know why if there is something croped up noisily along the way even when I am not clear about the cause, I would blame the "guy" for the mistake.

Sometimes when I walk out of the house thinking perhaps today, I would say something nicer and better to please him, but when I am online, GGGEEEESSS, I turn crary about the "guy".

At nights when I am sleeping, I think to myself that I should have made serious mistake in over-judging, should I say apologize ? I say yes but then when I am on again, only "heavy rain",

It seems to me that dislike has a link, which connects to even people around him then up to his father.
I just want to understand if you don't ever ever answer then why you made up so many unneccessary unrelated stories to imply, direct me to other ways of thinking, or is it just me that I think too much about what doesn't exist ? Why don't you try yourselves supposing to be me to understand how I feel ? If you HAVE already known it is wrong, why wrong-doing after wrong-doing ? I think you seriously hate me. Thats the only answer I have right now.