I have found the problem. While I was googling this issue and experimenting with Visual C++, I tried googling the error I most recently posted with a a few different keywords I hadn't tried before. As it turns out, there is a thread on here from about five years ago:

http://codeguru.earthweb.com/forum/s...d.php?t=362550

And it was on the second page that I found my answer:

My code was technically correct, though for some reason I needed to have a new line at the end of a file. I simply went to my resource.h file, hit enter, and saved the file. Then.....the program still didn't work! But after googling the next error, I realized you can't save a file in paint as .ico. So I downloaded a tool, remade the icon, crossed my fingers, and ran it again. It was a complete success! With my program running without any problems, I can happily (albeit somewhat masochistically) continue my adventure into the world of the Windows API.

Thanks to everyone for their help and suggestions! I'll be looking forward to harassing you guys again sometime soon!