Re: love/marriage affaires
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Originally Posted by che_rish
Are you attracted to guys then?
no,I'm attracted to girls...I'm not a gay,I avoid them because my beleif tells me that
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But what can I do if I just haven't met the right one?
I earase the problem completely,I want to give up because I'm sure there is no one except these rubbish girls I see every day,well,I sometimes have some fear from them,they are not really like girls,they are like girls in porn sites,but there are few other pretty girls(student) they are very good cases but they have financial problems,and I have finacial problem and she has financial problem so we can't start a life till we have financial problems,I know pretty girls at college but I don't have enough money, so it would be something useless to make friend with them again,because there would be no marriage,I won't have the nesseccary money(including a modern car,a good job,a house) for a marriage...so the problem is deleted from its base by banning every sex,love,...
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But I don't mind staying single if I don't find the right person for me either. Now is that strange?
well,no,like many people,but you don't think there would be something wrong with you if you can't find your case till to end of the life,maybe I'm a bit emotional...
- my emotion says go and get married
- my brain says me no you should delay it for long years
I'm a emotinal guy,I have some friends
but I should select what is my brain is telling
I think it's abit soon I'm thinking on such things?Okay?I should be gratudated then I would have a free time to think completely on marriage problem?
I don't know why this marraige problem is not something solvable for me,I've solved many problems but why this one is so hard for me,I don't know why it's really has gotten hard for me...I just want to make it easier for myself
Re: love/marriage affaires
From Deniz:
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Yeah, I got a problem with being called a kid by a 21 year old when I'm 30.
I love you, Deniz. Those guys like Cilu and other Mr. Serious types should learn to be like you. By the way, when Aussies say "G Day, mate!".......how do you pronouce it? Is it "Gee-day, mate!" or is it pronouced as "Good day, mate!"?
From Meh:
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but everytime when people speak they tell,NO,NO,every one should get married finally,everyone should have a wife,everyone should have a family
That's just the norm, but it's ok to be different. It's basically the same in every country.
When everyone's tall and you're short, you're considered weird. But it's ok. I'm another case. :cool:
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what will happen to me if I don't get married,what serious problems and dangers would happen to me,should I leave the society and go to the forests
No no.....it's not a problem not to get married. Do not live in others' shadows. Live life for itself. You should be happy to know this guy called Xeon. All the little girls he has came across so far just don't fit in with his perfectionist requirements, so in a way, he's a similar case like you.
How similar? Well, both of us ain't gonna get married until we found a perfect girl.
For you fools out there, in case you dunno, I'm a hardcore perfectionist when it comes to girls. My ideal girl gotta be at least 8/10 in terms of looks and figure, musn't force me to convert to a religion, musn't be too wild and musn't smoke or drink alcohol, must be perky and fun, must have a unique and indifferent attitude and the kind that don't follow the crowd.
She must be stable too, must be clean and tidy, must not be naggy and not too spendthrift. She must like nature and must be kind too, but must be awesome in flirting and sex.
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I realy dislike a family,a wife,childerens,it's againt our culture
What culture? Osama's culture? I don't believe the Iranian government is discouraging Iranian men from having a family with wife and kids.
If you think your culture is bad, abandon it. Like I said, you are you, UNDERSTAND???!!!! Your culture is not your god, and I'm sure, if you're a Muslim......I'm sure that Allah wouldn't want you to think like this too.
From what I know, in Islam, they encourage you to have family and kids and wife, and be nice to them. Ain't it so, old pal? :cool:
If the Iranian government is stopping you Iranian men from having a wife and kids, tell me and I'll convey the message to George War Bush.
He'll know what to do when he returns from his vacation.:cool:
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well,I'm a human like others without a wife just a bit different
U think u're alone? There's a lot of famous programmers who didn't even have a wife though they're approaching their 60s. What's wrong? Nothing!
And if you think you're different and wanna live as a hermit, do tell me.
I'll go live as a hermit together with you when I'm older.
I know there's a range of moutains up there between Europe and the Middle East where time actually stops. The people there look no different from Europeans, but their clothes and culture are tribal. Forgot the name of that valley, though. It was onced featured in Reader's Digest.
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I avoid them because my beleif tells me that
What belief? I don't believe that your "belief" in this case refers to Islam, your religion. Is it? Don't use that as an excuse.
If you're telling me Islam is asking you to think in this way, you really gotta look at what kinda Islam you're under. Extremism? Is it?
In Singapore, the folks here all practice real and true Islam. They hang out with friends of all races and genders, flirts, have families and settle down.
What's wrong? I think it's not religion.......it's the way you're brought up by your village. Your village chief probably believes in stuff like stoning a 17-year old girl to death just because she flirts with a man. :rolleyes:
That's tribal culture and extremism. It's not part of this world. Look at the world, look at us. Do not live in that abyss.
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I think it's abit soon I'm thinking on such things?Okay?I should be gratudated then I would have a free time to think completely on marriage problem?
Even if you have a Ph.D, a Doctorate, a Masters, Honours or whatever certifications, you ain't gonna solve this problem. This problem doesn't require the mindset of a rocket scientist or the timespan of 1000 decades.
Just tell yourself that......
You are you. You live for yourself and no one else. If you know your culture is wrong, change the way you live in it. No buts.
There are two kinds of humans in this world : Winners and Losers.
Winners go against their destinies and Losers submit to it.
The Game of Life is that simple.
From Cherish:
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I get a similar reaction from other people when they find out that I'm still single at my age. LOL. I understand they have good intentions in telling me I should have that one person in my life. But what can I do if I just haven't met the right one?
Why don't you and Meh try being together? I think the two of you suit each other perfectly. I'll definetly spur you two on, Cherish.
At least you know Meh isn't those wild, crazy and flirty club-hopping guys with 2 chicks in his arms every night, ye' know? Once this guy overcomes his lack of confidence and confusion, he'll become the most loyal and faithful guy ever. :thumb:
Daddy vouches for him.
I can become a success coach already,
Xeon.
Re: love/marriage affaires
mehdi, where did you get his idea that if you don't want to get married your humanity is put under question? There are many people that decide to stay single for the rest of their lives and never be involved in a relashionship (take for instance monks, nuns and catholic priests).
However, my personal opinion (and I don't want to offend anyone) is that this is plain wrong. Not hasting to get married just for the sake of getting married and waiting for the right kind of person is a probably a wise thing to do. Cherish put it so well:
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Originally Posted by cherish
But what can I do if I just haven't met the right one? It doesn't mean I don't want to be in a relationship. But I don't mind staying single if I don't find the right person for me either.
Things like
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Originally Posted by mehdi
I earase the problem completely,I want to give up because I'm sure there is no one except these rubbish girls I see every day,well,I sometimes have some fear from them,they are not really like girls,they are like girls in porn sites.
are just wrong. Why are you trying to convince yourself of such idea? I believe you're heading on the wrong direction. You may not have found so far a good girl for you, but you never know what the future holds. One of my favorite mottos is "all the good things happen to those who wait". So don't despair, but don't give up either.
All this discussion reminds me of what someone said (don't recall if it was Deniz or Mick):
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A bunch of software developers giving relationship advices, priceless.
:D
Re: love/marriage affaires
Mehdi, You won't even see it coming.
Love/Marriage whatever comes when you least expect it, some it takes longer than others. But don't keep your eyes closed otherwise you won't see it coming :D
Like Bon Jovi Says:
Keep The Faith
Re: love/marriage affaires
BTH, mehdi, isn't your name (username) meaning "The Chosen One"? So, why don't you have faith there is a "chosen one"-she for you too?
Re: love/marriage affaires
Mehdi, why do u show your money and status or whatever you say it is to girls before getting into a relationship. Why dont you approach them with something that you actually are ... ur inner self. and then see how they react or whatever...
I guess that there is a flaw in your approach towards relationships that has made you so rigid about your negative attitude towards the topic. And you will have to fix this bug...
Can you give an instance of how you approached a girl and got into a relationship and then ended up frustrated, as you say? That would help you hunt down the things that you might have done wrong. Its impossible that all of them look out for such stuff in boys/men. I mean they for sure look for security with the guy the want to start a new life ahead with but that's not the only concern !!
I wish your belief is lost soon..and you end up with a nice-pretty-understanding-up-to-your-expectations kinda girl...All the best...and Cheers man...dont be so negative... :thumb:
Re: love/marriage affaires
Guys,Thanks for your advices
well,I know many things made me have such negative thoughts
maybe a wrong and imposed education,
I know I should change them and your words made me better,because I don't speak to anyone in the real world on such things :o
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Originally Posted by Xeon
If you think your culture is bad, abandon it. Like I said, you are you, UNDERSTAND???!!!! Your culture is not your god, and I'm sure, if you're a Muslim......I'm sure that Allah wouldn't want you to think like this too.
From what I know, in Islam, they encourage you to have family and kids and wife, and be nice to them. Ain't it so, old pal?
well,I'm a muslim in that level I just accept god,
of cource not those muslims you know,
I don't say pray at all or many other things
of cource I have some belief on not doing some harmfull things which is near to islam ,it's not because of my relegion but because of the things I've got to them
meanwhile I accept secularism(and well,really I don't know finally what is my culture!!!!)
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Originally Posted by Xeon
I don't believe the Iranian government is discouraging Iranian men from having a family with wife and kids.
they don't discourage but because of finacial problems most of youth escape from the marriage
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Originally Posted by Xeon
U think u're alone? There's a lot of famous programmers who didn't even have a wife though they're approaching their 60s. What's wrong? Nothing!
oh yes,you are right
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Originally Posted by Xeon
And if you think you're different and wanna live as a hermit, do tell me...
:lol:
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Originally Posted by cilu
where did you get his idea that if you don't want to get married your humanity is put under question?
because I have seen many of them
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Originally Posted by cilu
Things like
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Originally Posted by mehdi
I earase the problem completely,I want to give up because I'm sure there is no one except these rubbish girls I see every day,well,I sometimes have some fear from them,they are not really like girls,they are like girls in porn sites.
are just wrong. Why are you trying to convince yourself of such idea? I believe you're heading on the wrong direction. You may not have found so far a good girl for you, but you never know what the future holds. One of my favorite mottos is "all the good things happen to those who wait". So don't despair, but don't give up either.
oh,yes you are right :o
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Originally Posted by HanneSThEGreaT
Mehdi, You won't even see it coming.
Love/Marriage whatever comes when you least expect it, some it takes longer than others. But don't keep your eyes closed otherwise you won't see it coming
yes,because,no one told me what is the meaning of such things,I always thought on such things very badly and rejected them,and refer myself to other more important things
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Originally Posted by cilu
BTH, mehdi, isn't your name (username) meaning "The Chosen One"? So, why don't you have faith there is a "chosen one"-she for you too?
mehdi means someone is on a directed and right path :o
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Originally Posted by exterminator
Mehdi, why do u show your money and status or whatever you say it is to girls before getting into a relationship. Why dont you approach them with something that you actually are ... ur inner self. and then see how they react or whatever...
well,I didn't have any good feeling on them,my inner was full of bad feeling
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Originally Posted by exterminator
I guess that there is a flaw in your approach towards relationships that has made you so rigid about your negative attitude towards the topic. And you will have to fix this bug...
yes surelly,I should edit my negative thoughts and make them more reasonable,all such thoughts made me not to have a good comunication with them...I should change them
thanks pals from your words,it would help me think on such problems better:o
Re: love/marriage affaires
From Meh:
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I know I should change them and your words made me better,because I don't speak to anyone in the real world on such things
It's good that there's the Web and you're connected to the world. Or else, things would have gotten worse. :)
From Meh to Cilu:
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mehdi means someone is on a directed and right path
Indeed, Meh. Cilu must have been watching too much of The Matrix, The Matrix Revolution, the Matrix Reloaded and the Matrix Animated Series, where Neo(the hero) is also called "The One"/"The Chosen One".
Wasn't there a movie a year ago also called "The One" starring Jet Li where he fights against himself? :rolleyes:
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they don't discourage but because of finacial problems most of youth escape from the marriage
Nah, that's crap. Most countries in Eastern Europe have tons of very poor people too. But some of them are programmers and they actually travel abroad to work. Imagine you land a job in the US. Assume your salary is US$2000 per month. It is definetly higher, but think : just US$2000 converted to Iranian currency........YOU COULD BUY A BIG MANSION IN IRAN ALREADY, PAL!!!!!! U'RE RICH!!!! :eek:
(ok, maybe not so extreme, but it's going to make you very rich within 2 years time.......... > US$2000 * 24 months, then convert to Iranian currency :eek:)
As long as you've good programming skills(unlike me), you can surf the web and look for foreign companies who're hiring. How about the UK or somewhere nearer.....like Spain etc.?
Because your main selling point is that you can do the same/better job at a lower salary and the employers want that. After they hired you, they will apply a working visa for you and you can start counting how many ships of porn DVD you can acquire.
Anyway, all the best to you. If you've any problems, just ask around here.
Just be careful of one thing, though :
Do not work hard and get rich for the sake of attracting girls.
You will only be attracting whores, vampire bats and leeches this way.
You'll never be happy, because you know that deep down inside, these suckers will leave you once you lose your wealth. And because of that, you'll always fear losing your wealth and losing everything.
As the Buddha once said, "The more you've, the more you're afraid".
(for me, I rather be single forever than to have such suckers clinging onto me)
Good day,
Xeon.
Re: love/marriage affaires
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Originally Posted by Xeon
Indeed, Meh. Cilu must have been watching too much of The Matrix, The Matrix Revolution, the Matrix Reloaded and the Matrix Animated Series, where Neo(the hero) is also called "The One"/"The Chosen One".
Wasn't there a movie a year ago also called "The One" starring Jet Li where he fights against himself?
I was left under this impression, that MEHDI == MESSIAH, since I start reading the Dune series, about 10 years ago. And since messiah means "the chosen one" I though mehdi also means that.
Re: love/marriage affaires
Mehdi...I don't want to give you any advice(you'd got tones of them even from Xeon :eek: )...
just a true story...2 of my ex-office mate married to his mother's choice and they live happily together...many of my married friends now unhappy with their marriage with their lovers...maybe "love comes after marriage" was true... :rolleyes:
//still single :D ..it's easy to move around ... :)
Re: love/marriage affaires
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Originally Posted by mrRee
just a true story...2 of my ex-office mate married to his mother's choice and they live happily together...many of my married friends now unhappy with their marriage with their lovers...maybe "love comes after marriage" was true... :rolleyes:
//still single :D ..it's easy to move around ... :)
Love comes after marriage is real. Even in case of love marriages, people fall in love again. And in cases when they don't, their marriage fails.
Earlier a person loves a person who spends 2-3 hrs (max) with him daily. After marriage he has to fall in love with a person who is with him 12-14 hrs (or more) daily.
I think who succeed in falling in love again carry their married lives successfully. :thumb:
Re: love/marriage affaires
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Originally Posted by Xeon
Most countries in Eastern Europe have tons of very poor people too. But some of them are programmers and they actually travel abroad to work. Imagine you land a job in the US. Assume your salary is US$2000 per month. It is definetly higher, but think : just US$2000 converted to Iranian currency
yes,I should think on such chances(oh not here)of cource Iran is a bit banned among other countries,many iranian students had done such things,when they see there is no good facility for them they prefer to migrate to other countries,of cource I should first look for real jobs here if not found definitly would escape otherwise I should look for my loves at parks and play the guitar for them
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Originally Posted by cilu
I was left under this impression, that MEHDI == MESSIAH, since I start reading the Dune series, about 10 years ago. And since messiah means "the chosen one" I though mehdi also means tha
yes cilu,you are right
mehdi is also the name of a great person which muslims believe he would finish all the disasters and he would come a day with messiah..
mehdi and
messiah are brothers for making a peacfull world and such things(I don't know it exactly just I remebered few things I memorized for my exams)
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Originally Posted by mrRee
just a true story...2 of my ex-office mate married to his mother's choice and they live happily together
oh,mothers are right
Re: love/marriage affaires
mehdi, is that a picture of you? If so, consider posting it in the CG members photo album thread?
Re: love/marriage affaires
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Originally Posted by Deniz
Yeah, I got a problem with being called a kid by a 21 year old when I'm 30. :p
That's not a problem. The problem is like yesterday, when a 5 or 6 year old child called me "old man".
Re: love/marriage affaires
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Originally Posted by Doctor Luz
That's not a problem. The problem is like yesterday, when a 5 or 6 year old child called me "old man".
but why the 20 years old lady call me handsome man...I wonder :rolleyes: :D
//how can "love after marriage" can be tested?...should we test to marry a woman...what if the test failed...
