Martha Stewart never had it so good.
Printable View
Martha Stewart never had it so good.
Are you kidding me? You'd only get half the stations! Not to mention cable.Quote:
Originally posted by Mick
Tarps are so much better than cardboard boxes...they just fall apart when it rains...now a tarp with some cardboard boxes...now that's what I call living....
has anyone ever told you that you guys are strange? I mean clearly your abby normal....and I thought I was wierd....
Bucephalus, Bocephus, and Lucipher walked into a bar...Quote:
has anyone ever told you that you guys are strange? I mean clearly your abby normal....and I thought I was wierd....
And I thought I had a flounder!
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman.
Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat.
Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check.
Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances,
talk to my parrot!"
"I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"
When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.
Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,
"Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied,
"Get him, Spike!"
:D
A burglar breaks into a house one night. Using his flashlight he starts searching the drawers. Suddenly, a voice behind him sais "Jesus is watching you". The dude wheels around in panic, lights his flashlight, but it's no one there. So he takes a deep breath and goes on searching the drawers. A couple of minutes later, the same voice: "Jesus is watching you". He wheels around once more and starts searching the room systematically with his flashlight. Eventually he notices a cage with a parrot. "Who are you?" asks the burglar. "Moses" answeres the parrot. "Moses? Who on earth names his parrot 'Moses'?" And the parrot answers: "Well, the same people who name their Dobermann 'Jesus'"...
Quote:
the secret sign of a charmed existence
is the shiny liquid on her lips
and the ecstasy that comes with her image
grows from the power that the money gives
and she's got a celebrity lifestyle
and she's just floating in space
and all her children want a suck and a taste of
oh, her celebrity lifestyle
yeah, her celebrity lifestyle
and she's just a drug addiction
and a self-reflecting image of a narcotised mind...
Quote:
The other day I was so thirsty for a beer that I snuck into the stadium and ate the dirt underneath the bleachers.
What are you guys talking about ??? I dont understand a thing ! True. :(
I like Bug Bunny, really.
Quote:
Originally posted by hometown
I like Bug Bunny, really.
is that the one that goes: "I tawt I taw a putty tat!" :D
What does that mean ???Quote:
Originally posted by Deniz
is that the one that goes: "I tawt I taw a putty tat!" :D
Hyde and Hare ! <-- watch it ?
A lion, a donkey, and a fox were hunting, and the kill had been good. With evening upon them, the weary three paused to rest and the lion said, "Friend donkey, divide the kill into three parts, one for each of us." The donkey did so, producing three piles of almost miraculously equal size. The lion promptly slew the donkey, threw his body onto the rest of the kill, and said, "Friend fox, divide the kill into two parts, one for each of us." The fox promptly shoved all of it together except for the corpse of one crow, which he put to one side. He said, "Do you, friend lion, have this heap for your half, and the dead crow will be my half." The lion smiled broadly and said, "Well done, friend fox, but who taught you to divide so cleverly into equal halves?" "The dead donkey," said the fox.
SolarFlare,
what exactly is hapenning ????
I dont understand what you guys are talking about ??? Really.
How many times do I have to explain it to you hometown? Infest the poor widow! Potatoes are potable. Surely with the proper diet and good hygene we can ween him from his folly.Quote:
Originally posted by hometown
SolarFlare,
what exactly is hapenning ????
I dont understand what you guys are talking about ??? Really.
Science doesn't have all the answers only all the questions. The first question you have to ask is "where do these buns come from?"
The Lion is a symbol. In the story above it represents the poor and downtrodden proletariat . The donkey represents Celine Dion singing in Las Vegas. The fox is merely a veiled reference to Kellog's Corn Flakes. Now we have the proper reference frame from which to construct our view. This is just an allegory illustrating the futility of life itself..
I hope this clears things up.
Quote:
Make a contribution and you'll get a better seat.