AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

Adolf Hitler was conducting a General Staff meeting, when somebody sneezed.
"Who was that!?" shouted Hitler, whirling around from a wall map of Europe. Nobody said anything.
"I see," he said, "I will have 10 of you shot. And maybe then you will tell me who sneezed?"
A Gestapo agent took 10 people out of the room. Shots were heard, then silence.
"I will ask again," yelled Hitler, "who sneezed?" Again, nobody said anything.
"Very vell," he said, "I will have another 10 of you shot!"
The Gestapo agent escorted 10 more people out of the room and executed them.
"For the very last time," screamed Hitler, "Who sneezed?"
Finally the guilty officer could stand no more. He stood up and said, "It was me, my Führer. I am the one who sneezed."
Hitler slowly approached the shaking officer and said, "Bless you."

A man walking on the beach came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a genie actually appeared.
"For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes," said the genie.
"But there`s a catch," the genie continued. "For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive double what you asked for."
First, the man wished for a Ferrari. POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of him. "Now, every lawyer in the world has been given two Ferraris," said the genie.
"What is your next wish?"
"I could really use a million dollars." replied the man, and POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
"Now, every lawyer in the world is two million dollars richer," the genie reminded the man, and then asked him for his third wish.
The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney."

A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a school teacher. The judge rose from the bench.

"Madam, I have waited years for a school teacher to appear before this court." He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write `I will not run a red light` five hundred times."

A couple had two little boys, ages 3 and 5,who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting
Into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak to her boys.

The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 3-year-old first, in the morning.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him ternly,

"Where is God?"

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even stern tone, "Where is God?"

Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, Brother....
God is missing - and they think WE did it…

Jugnu Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.

The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered,
"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.

"But...what happened to your other ear?"

"The scoundrel called back."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kheun

Mind you, I saw this in actual production code. It makes my heart break... :cry:

Code:

---

if(result == true)
    return true;
else
    return false;

---

---

I've seen the below in my college career...

Code:

---

struct mem * func_1(struct mem * value)
{
  struct node * value2;

  value2 = value;

  return value2;
}

---

Code:

---

if(x = 0
{
  // do something...
}

---

Both were written by the same person.

I've seen worst...much worst..,

"Competitive Salary" - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"Join Our Fast Paced Company" - We have no time to train you.

"Casual Work Atmosphere" - We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up.

"Must be Deadline Oriented" - You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"Some Overtime Required" - Some time each night, some time each weekend.

"Duties will Vary" - Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"Must have an Eye for Detail" - We have no quality control.

"Seeking Candidates with a Wide Variety of Experience" - You will need to replace three people who just left.

"Problem Solving Skills a Must" - You are walking into a company in perpetual chaos. Haven't heard a word from anyone out there. Your first task is to find out what is going on.

"Requires Team Leadership Skills" - You will have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect.

"Good Communication Skills" - Management communicates poorly, so you have to figure out what they want and do it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ajay Vijay

Many annoying web pages you have visited,
try this :D

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I... hate... you...

:p

Quote:

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Originally Posted by YourSurrogateGod

I... hate... you...

:p

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Thanks for that great affection :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mick

I've seen worst...much worst..,

---

Meh... I shouldn't talk to much, I've erred on that path at times. But the first method was what really got me.

/now knows not to ever have a partner for OS lecture.

Shoking Telegrams

TELEGRAM #1
A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams,which the father receives as:
"Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
********************************************************
TELEGRAM #2
A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife: "I wish you were here."
The message received by wife:
"I wish you were her."

How a BOY withdraws cash from ATM.

1. Park the car

2. Go to ATM Machine

3. Insert card

4. Enter PIN

5. Take money out

6. Take ATM Card out

7. Drive away



How a GIRL withdraws cash from ATM

1. Park the car

2. Check makeup

3. Turn off engine

4. Check makeup

5. Go to ATM

6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse

7. Insert card

8. Hit Cancel

9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it

10. Insert card

11. Enter PIN

12. Take cash

13. Go to car

14. Check makeup

15. Start car

16. Stop car

17. Run back to ATM

18. Take ATM card

19. Back to car

20. Check makeup

21. Start car

22. Check makeup

23. Drive for 1/2 mile

24. Release handbrake

25. Drive on. :):):)

A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor's office.

He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"

She replied, "I'm having a baby."

With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"

She answered, "He sure is."

Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"

She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."

With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked, "Then why did you eat him?"

Hi,

Please go & check out this site!!! I was rather
shocked to find a website
that holds everyone's passport details. Anyone can
access other people's
personal info. which is of course a major worry in
terms of identity fraud.


I've removed my info. I suggest you to do the same.

Just go to the URL mentioned below, enter your first
& last name and select
the country too.

Click Here!