AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

Once upon a time three people were stranded out at sea - A Japanese, a Malaysian and an Indonesian. The boat started leaking and if they do not act fast they would all die.

The Japanese (as usual) was the first to take the initiative. He threw all his Japanese gizmo - CD player, hi-fi, radio etc. off the boat. The Malaysian and the Indonesian looked at him in disbelief.
The Japanese said, "Don't worry.. still got a lot more in my country.. BANZAIIIEE!"

But the boat was still sinking. The Indonesian without hesitation started throwing aboard all his baju batik, kain batik, keretek, etc., etc. He comforted the other two, "Don't worry.. still have a lot more in my country, paknya".

But still the boat was sinking. The Japanese and the Indonesian looked at the Malaysian. Suddenly, without any hesitation and with stride, the Malaysian threw the Indonesian overboard. The poor guy couldn't swim and drowned. The Japanese was shocked. Said the Malaysian, "Don't worry... still got a lot more in MY country!!!".

We have the same joke here in Australia where the Aussie throws a New Zealander overboard.

It seems that's an international joke you got there :thumb: :D Anyways..

There was a Filipino International English class and the teacher started of the day saying "class were going to learn how to Deduct, defense, defeat and detail in a sentence" all of a sudden Roland jumps out of his seat raising his hand, "I know! I know!" The duck jumped over the fence, first the feat then the tail. :D

GOD's NAME Our good friend Eduardo died, ascended to the stairway to heaven and met St. Peter at the Pearly gates. Welcome to heaven Eduardo greets St. Peter. Before I let you in you will have to tell me first what is God's name. Eduardo think and think.....now he regrets it because he never go to church when He was still alive. Luckily, when He used to be in the first grade, they used to pray before class during those times. He started remembering the Lord's prayer and started mumbling the prayer hoping to get a clue. He then started...... Our father, Howard in heaven, Howard be your name.....then He suddenly turned to St. Peter and said, God's name is HOWARD! :D

THE GOOD AND BAD NEWS

A man walks into the doctor's office and the doctor says, "I've got some good news and some bad news." "Tell me the good news first," the patient says. "The good news is that your penis is going to be two inches longer and an inch wider," the doctor replies. "That's great!" says the patient. "What's the bad news?" The doctor says, "It's malignant!"

:thumb: :D

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Originally Posted by Deniz

We have the same joke here in Australia where the Aussie throws a New Zealander overboard.

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And in America it's a businessman tossing a lawyer. ;)

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent,excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.

"I just need one copy."


Lesson - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything. :D

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Originally Posted by NatThoelecke

And in America it's a businessman tossing a lawyer. ;)

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Ah, the lawyers... I reckon thats funnier than tossing any nationailty as lawers know no nationality. Toss'em all!

//2 of our company directors & 1 contractor for us are lawyers :eek:

I don't get it, whats so funny tossing a lawyer?? :confused:

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Originally Posted by Max Payne

I don't get it, whats so funny tossing a lawyer?? :confused:

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Coz lawyers are known for their... uhm... i dunno if this is the right word: "corrupt" ways. Ofcourse, not all of them. But they can twist the truth especially when defending their criminal clients. And they do it for the money. :D (Again, not all of them).

/Hope that explains it.. even a lil bit.

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Originally Posted by che_rish

Coz lawyers are known for their... uhm... i dunno if this is the right word: "corrupt" ways. Ofcourse, not all of them. But they can twist the truth especially when defending their criminal clients. And they do it for the money. :D (Again, not all of them).

/Hope that explains it.. even a lil bit.

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hmmm I cee.... lawyers..:sick: haaa

/if you have seen "Devil's Advocate", you won't dare toss a lawyer, he's the Devil !! :D

Q. What is the difference between a dead dog in the middle of the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road?
A. The dog has skid marks in front of it.

Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?
A. In the cemetery.

Q. What do you have when you bury six lawyers up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Q. Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers?
A. New Jersey had first choice.

Q. Why have scientists begun to use lawyers instead of lab rats for research?
* Lawyers are more plentiful.
* They are easier to train.
* Researchers don't get attached to them.
* There are some things a rat won't do.

Q. What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A. Terrorists have sympathizers.

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Originally Posted by Max Payne

/if you have seen "Devil's Advocate", you won't dare toss a lawyer, he's the Devil !! :D

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Hmmm. I thought, the Devil (Al Pacino) was the Advocate's (Keanu Reeves) client?? :confused: :D

Definition from dictionary.com:

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Main Entry: 1ad·vo·cate
Pronunciation: 'ad-v&-k&t, -"kAt
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin advocatus adviser to a party in a lawsuit, counselor, from past participle of advocare to summon, employ as counsel, from ad to + vocare to call
1 : a person (as a lawyer) who works and argues in support of another's cause esp. in court
2 : a person or group that defends or maintains a cause or proposal <a consumer advocate>

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/No, i haven't seen the whole film. I was able to catch the last scene when it was aired on TV... i think... when, Keanu and Charlize was in the elevator?? Im not so sure about "elevator" thing, but I do remember Al Pacino laughing in... the end. :D

Keanu Reeves was the lawyer, and he himself is the son of the devil (Al Pacino)..

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Originally Posted by Max Payne

Keanu Reeves was the lawyer, and he himself is the son of the devil (Al Pacino)..

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:eek: You mean, Keanu Reeve's is also Al Pacino's son??
:confused: Ohhh, okay. I should see that film then, so that i'll understand it. :D