LMAO!! Nice one. :D
I found something similar, ya know.. those smilies w/ light sabers. But it wasn't that funny.
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LMAO!! Nice one. :D
I found something similar, ya know.. those smilies w/ light sabers. But it wasn't that funny.
[1] Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
[2] Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
[3] Why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
[4] Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
[5] Why doctors call what their profession "practice"?
[6] Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
[7] Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing
liquid is made with real lemons?
[8] Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
[9] Why there isn't mouse-flavoured cat food?
[10] Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?
[11] Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
[12] Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
[13] Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the
indestructible black box ?
[14] Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
[15] Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
[16] Why CONgress leads you to believe it is PROgress when con is the opposite of pro?
[17] Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
PLEASE DO LET ME KNOW.......
Blonde Joke - Any Last Requests?
Three women are about to be executed. One's a
brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two
guards brings the brunette forward, and the
executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner
shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around. She
manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward,
and the executioner asks if she has any last
requests.
She says no, and the executioner
shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"
Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around.
She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde had figured out what the
others did. The guards bring her forward, and the
executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She also says no, and the executioner
shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
/:D
During the time of war, one german soldier had to cross a forest with three prisoners: russian, polish and armenian men. An officer ordered the soldier that at the beginning of the forest he should shoot the russian, and in the middle of the forest he should give the polish to a wild bear as a meal, and finally after crossing the forest he should rape the armenian and make him run until he disappears. After hearing the order, the soldier started moving with the prisoners, at the beginning of the forest he shot the russian man, and in the middle, he gave the polish man to a big angry bear. then the soldier continued his journey with the armenian man. Armenian man was continuously asking : do you remember the order correctly? do you really remember what the officer told you to do to me? ...
Some of you might have heard some of them...
I don't do windows because ...
I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.
I don't wax floors because ...
I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terrible
(plus they may sue me.)
I don't mind the dust bunnies because....
They are very good company, I have named most of them,
and they agree with everything I say.
I don't disturb cobwebs because .
I want every creature to have a home of their own.
I don't Spring Clean because ...
I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous.
I don't pull weeds in the garden because
I don't want to get in God's way, he is an excellent designer!
I don't put things away because ...
My husband will never be able to find them again.
I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because....
I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make
when they invite me over for dinner.
I don't iron because ...
I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press."
I don't stress much on anything because ...
"A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a
wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!
???Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathew Joy
Is there something you need to tell us?
LMAO!! :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by NatThoelecke
Yea...that the whole thing is a joke :D :DQuote:
Originally Posted by NatThoelecke
This is a love letter from a boy to a girl....
However,the girl's father does not like him and
want them to stop the relationship..
So, the boy wrote this letter to the girl.
"The great love that I have for you
is gone, and I find my dislike for you
grows every day. When I see you,
I do not even like your face;
the one thing that I want to do is to
look at other girls. I never wanted to
marry you. Our last conversation
was very boring and has not
made me look forward to seeing you again.
You think only of yourself
If we were married, I know that I would find
life very difficult, and I would have no
pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
to give, but it is not something that
I want to give to you. No one is more
foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
able to care for me and help
I sincerely want you to understand that
I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
if you think this the end. Do not try
to answer this. Your letters are full of
things that do not interest me. You have no
true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
I do not care for you. Please do not think that
I am still your boyfriend."
So bad.. However, the boy told the girl before to
"READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning only to
read odd numbered lines, so please read
it again!
How does the girl know that she should read only the odd numbered lines? :rolleyes:
i think sh would read the first two lines and burn the letter..:p
Quote:
Originally Posted by chmanish
:rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathew Joy
Girls are so dumb that even if u attach a big manual entitled "How to read between lines", ur letter will surely end up in the dustbin. :D :DQuote:
However, the boy told the girl before to
"READ BETWEEN THE LINES",
:thumb: Just kidding. :thumb:
I dont know if you guys noticed, but Mathew Joy used white-colored letters w/ the following words:
So bad.. However, the boy told the girl before to
"READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning only to
read odd numbered lines, so please read
it again!
If you look at his post again, highlight that part and you'll see it. Hehehehe. :D
Actually a good valid suggestion. I'll keep that in mind.Quote:
Originally Posted by chmanish
:D