"It's been a rough day I got up this morning... put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.." - Mark Lottering
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"It's been a rough day I got up this morning... put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.." - Mark Lottering
"I was such an ugly kid... When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up." - Mark Lottering (Theres a lot about how ugly he is comming up..)
I've collected loads of these (feel free to steal them: http://harcourtprogramming.onlinewebshop.net/quotes/). But the two I'll go with today is:
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
"If toast always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens when you strap toast to the back of a cat?"*
*Please note: this test is invalid if a Shrodinger cat is used, as quantum will get involved...(I hope smeone reads Terry Pratchett, otherwise I'm just going to look strange).
What is a free gift ¿ Aren't all gifts free ¿ :confused:
What happens if you get scared half to death twice ¿ :)
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.
- Brian W. Kernighan
When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through." - Mark Lottering.
I'm so ugly... my mother had morning sickness...
.... AFTER I was born. - Mark Lottering
Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents.
I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?"
He said, "I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide." - Mark Lottering
My Cousin is Deaf. He also has one arm shorter than the other.
He speaks sign language with an accent !!!
I hope these are okay. These are genuine advertisements placed in local newspapers.....
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica. No longer needed. Husband knows everything.
3 year old Sheepdog for sale. Eats anything. Especially fond of children.
2 Great Dames for sale.
German Shepherd for sale. Neutered. Like one of the family.
CLOTHING ALTERATIONS. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it all by hand.