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The problem with that is that you cannot divide by Knowledge when Knowledge is zero. I think we can safely stipulate there are clueless people in the world. (Certain politicians come to mind...) So, when Knowledge is zero, and Knowledge = Work/Money, doesn't that imply Work is zero for any amount of Money?Quote:
Originally Posted by RoboTact
The Soviet propaganda ministry ordered 10 million condoms from an American manufacturer, all 16" long and 3" in diameter.
The American manufacturer filled the order, sending the merchandise in boxes marked 'medium.'
1. What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip.
2. What is height of Secrecy?
Offering black visiting cards.
3. What is height of Active laziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
4. What is height of Laziness ?
Adopt a child.
5. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a black paper Xeroxed.
6. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
7. What is height of Stupidity ?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
8. What is height of Honesty ?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
9. What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
10. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.
Confusion confuses and creates confusion to further the confusion..........
Conversation of William Knott and Mr. Watt.
YOU LEFT THE TALKERS AT A POINT WHERE THEY WERE TOTALLY CONFUSED. READ THE REST OF WHAT HAPPENED...Quote:
"Who's calling?" was the answer to the telephone.
"Watt."
"What is your name, please?"
"Watt's my name."
"That's what I asked you. What's your name?"
"That's what I told you. Watt's my name."
A long pause, and then from Watt, "Is this James Brown?"
"No, this is Knott."
"Please tell me your name."
"Will Knott."
[PAUSE]Quote:
"Why not?"
"Huh? What do you mean why not?"
"Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?"
"But I told you my name!"
"Didn't you say you will not?"
"Not not, knott, Will Knott!"
"That's what I mean."
"So you know my name."
"Of course not!"
"Good. So now, what is yours?"
"Watt. Yours?"
"Your name!"
"Watt's my name."
"How the **** do I know? I am asking you!"
"Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you have
not even told me yours yet."
"You have been patient, what about me?"
"I have told you my name so many times and it is you who have not told
me yours yet."
"Of course not!"
"See, you even know my name!"
"Of course not!"
"Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?"
"Because I don't."
NOW THEY ARE AT A POINT WHERE BOTH THINK THE OTHER KNOWS THEIR NAME, BUTQuote:
"What is your name?"
"See, you know my name!"
"Of course not!"
"Then why do you keep asking ,Watt, is your name?"
"To find out your name!"
"But you already know it!"
"What?"
"See, but you know mine!"
"Of course not!"
"Exactly!"
THEY THEMSELVES DON'T KNOW THE OTHER'S NAME.
[Pause before it hits him]Quote:
"Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name is, what will be
your answer?"
"Watt's my name."
"No, no, give me only one word."
"Watt"
"Your name!"
"Right!"
[Pause before it hits him]Quote:
"Oh, Wright!"
"Yeah!"
"So why didn't you say it before?"
"I told you so many times!"
"You never said Wright before"
"Of course I did."
"Ok I won't argue any more. Do you know my name?"
"I do not."
"Well, there you go, now we know each other's name."
"I do not!"
"Good!"
NOW THEY BOTH THINK THEY KNOW EACH OTHER'S NAME AS WELL !! :lol: :lol:Quote:
"Oh, Guud!"
"Good."
"No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?"
"No, it's Knott!"
"Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud."
"Yes Wright."
Nice one :) :thumb:Quote:
Originally Posted by vb_the_best
enjoy....
Gay Flight Attendant
A British Airways passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay
flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he
served them food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce
that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so
if you could just put up your trays, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed, rather
exotic looking woman, hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear
me over those big brute engines." he said, "I asked you to raise your
trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a
Princess. I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat.....
"Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
Tray-up, B*tch!!
Thats from ebaums world.Quote:
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
...................
Quote:
Born in a small village just north of Yorktown in April of 1032, Ejaz first left his mark as "that stupid kid peeing in the dirt". During the middle ages he bounced from job to job, finally landing in a circus freak show where he was billed as the bearded lady.
During his time at a French forced labor camp in 1634 he learned the rudiments of language, and began communicating through a series of grunts and frantic arm waving. When it was revealed that he was not a shaved ape, his keepers lost all sympathy and left him for dead in Prussia. He lived there as a hermit until the early 20th century when he was recruited as a machine-gunner for the Spanish infantry. His enthusiasm for friendly fire quickly marked him as "unreliable", and he was discharged to the care of an Alaskan sled-dog trainer.
Most of his time with the CIA has been brainwashed away, if asked, he fervently asserts that he was "out walking" between 1957 and 1972.
He holds several degrees but does not recall earning any of them, In a recent interview he let it slip that "if you threaten enough professors, sooner or later they give you a degree to get rid of you"
After years of false starts, he finally learned to program from a one-armed Japanese farmer who was willing to "teach, if you will learn". Although his first several years of work in the software industry resulted in no major contributions, it was discovered that if someone turned his computer on for him, his productivity approached marginal.
His last employer (who declined to have his name published) had this to say, "cheaper than the trained monkeys, but longer lunch breaks, I hope he gets run over by a bus".
His current projects include paintball gattling-guns, channeling for programmers that haven’t died yet, anyone foolish enough to glance at him?
I have found very funny text about how programmers would build a building. I have tried to translate it into English, with my translator, so my translation is not perfect. Enjoy
Wife: Did you make the shoppings?
Husband: Bad command or filename.
Wife: But I asked you this morning...
Husband: Syntax Error. Abort?
Wife: Not even the new TV set?
Husband: Variable not found....
Wife: OK, give me the credit card. I'll do the shoppings...
Husband: Sharing Violation. Access denied!
Wife: Are you serious or are you kidding? Do you try to aggravate me?
Husband: Too many parameters...
Wife: How did I end up with you?
Husband: Data type mismatch.
Wife: When you'll you cash in the salary?
Husband: File in use... Try later.
Wife: You make me wonder what do I mean for you...
Husband: Unknown Virus.
0x0d2C
May your signals all trap
May your references be bounded
All memory aligned
Floats to ints rounded
Remember ...
Non-zero is true
++ adds one
Arrays start with zero
and, NULL is for none
For octal, use zero
0x means hex
= will set
== means test
use -> for a pointer
a dot if its not
? : is confusing
use them a lot
a.out is your program
there's no U in foobar
and, char (*(*x())[])() is
a function returning a pointer
to an array of pointers to
functions returning char
Hmmm. I think I've seen this before. Not so sure if you're the one who posted it too. But the Ode to C was really nice. I give it: :thumb: :thumb: :thumb: :thumb:Quote:
Originally Posted by cilu
Just a simple Star Wars joke...
Quote:
"Dark the other side is!"
"Shut up Yoda, and eat your toast!"
Don't know if this one is a repeat..
Quote:
Banta Singh replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canada, and I'm here in Ludhiana. When they left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom,
and leaves it there.
Banta Singh becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the sameway: He orders three Beers and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders only two Beers. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says," I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." Banta Singh looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he, says, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive" . " Only thing is ---- I just quit drinking"!!!!!!:eek:
Still funny to read... Here are more...Quote:
Write in C
When I find my code in tons of touble,
Friends and colleages come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."
As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
"Write in C."
Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, oh, write in C.
LISP is dead and buried,
Write in C.
I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.
If you've just spent nearly 30 hours
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.
Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, yeah, write in C.
Only wimps use BASIC.
Write in C.
Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, oh, write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.
Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, yeah, write in C.
Don't even mention COBOL.
Write in C.
And when the screen is fuzzy,
And the editor is bugging me.
I'm sick of ones and zeros,
Write in C.
A thousand people sware that T.P.
Seven is the one for me.
I hate the word PROCEDURE,
Write in C.
Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, yeah, write in C.
PL1 is '80s,
Write in C.
Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, yeah, write in C.
The government loves ADA,
Write in C.