Spider Man.............No More!

Thanks, guys... Yes, yes... Arranged Marriages and relationships are pet topics for me as many of my friends out here keep querying me on how stuff can work in such an environment.

I personally find arranged marriage system perplexing too - but, it works so well that it's just to be seen to be believed. All friends of mine who got married this way are happily settled (just the same way as those who found their partners themselves are too).

Another big advantage of this system is that people who haven't found a partner for whatever reason find a suitable one via a channel accepted by the society. This channel is a lot better than the "blind date" system followed in western cultures, or in the "dating agencies" prevalent here, and also better than online dating as people look at prospective partners in a small cross-section of "available resources" that fit their language, culture, education and monetary requirements to a T.

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Originally Posted by HanneSThEGreaT

A warm heartfelt Congratulations Ejaz! :thumb:

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Originally Posted by Sarevok

Congratulations Ejaz :wave:
So, how did you 2 meet? :D

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Originally Posted by sreehari

Congratulations Ejaz :wave: :)

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Originally Posted by Shuja Ali

Hearty Congratulations. :wave:

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Thanx fellas :)

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Originally Posted by MrBeans

Congrats Ejaz :wave: :) So Ejaz's has gone to deep sleep I guess with sweet dreams :D

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Originally Posted by Hobson

It's not too late to run yet! / Congratulations Ejaz! *
* Please pick one

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Originally Posted by Sahir

Congratulations, Ejaz. :wave:

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Thanx guys :)

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Originally Posted by Siddhartha

Thanks, guys... Yes, yes... Arranged Marriages and relationships are pet topics for me as many of my friends out here keep querying me on how stuff can work in such an environment.

I personally find the arranged marriage stuff perplexing too - but, it works so well that it's just to be seen to be believed. :D All friends of mine who got married this way are happily settled (just the same way as those who found their partners themselves are too).

Another big advantage of this system is that people who haven't found a partner for whatever reason find a suitable one via a channel accepted by the society. This channel is a lot better than the "blind date" system followed in western cultures, or in the "dating agencies" prevalent here, and also better than online dating as people look at prospective partners in a small cross-section of "available resources" that fit their language, culture, education and monetary requirements to a T.

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:thumb:

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Originally Posted by cilu

Let me see if I understand: you met your fiancee last night for the first time in your life and your parents fixed everything and you just watched? :eek: So, what are your feelings about her? I'm wondering how can you live with someone you just met? What if you don't like her? I mean, ok, the first impression could have been great, but in time you discover things about her that will make your life with her hard to live, or perhaps impossible. Then what? Sorry for asking all these questions, but I'm not sure I can understand this practice.

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Sid has already put it in the best possible way, its not like that I'm being forced to accept this, its just like a proposal, you can accept it, you can reject it, its your call and its same for her. Thats why I gave her last chance to step back ;) but she didn't take it. Moreover, there happens to be ample time between engagement and wedding, to understand each other better.

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Originally Posted by Sarevok

So, how did you 2 meet? :D

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Well, its a typical arranged marriage sort of case. No dates earlier, never seen her before. The hardest part was to say "Hi" to her, trust me, it really was :blush:

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Originally Posted by sreehari

Well Cilu thats the way it happens here in most of the Asian countries, atleast for the south asian countries, like india, pakisthan srilanka :D ... well it used to happen like this in earlier days, now a days , ppl are changing , ppl seem to find their own partners , leaving the earlier generation in a Fix :( leading to disagreements n all...

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Correct, but in most of the cases (atleast what I've seen), they crashes. I've seen plenty of love marriages, with kick off start, but somewhere down the road, everything vanishes, creating much more complicated situations, besides in such cases, its not just you and your spouse that got affected, many others around you do as well and sometimes, causing some un-recoverable damages too.

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Originally Posted by sreehari

And in case of Ejaz guess his parents got tired of waiting for him to find someone for him self :D

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Bingo!, you got it right. :thumb:

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Originally Posted by sreehari

Err or could it be that they came to know about Kalinka ?? :eek: :ehh:

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<with most innocent look>
I.....don't know...who is Kalinka :D
</with most innocent look>

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Originally Posted by Ejaz

Correct, but in most of the cases (atleast what I've seen), they crashes. I've seen plenty of love marriages, with kick off start, but somewhere down the road, everything vanishes, creating much more complicated situations, besides in such cases, its not just you and your spouse that got affected, many others around you do as well and sometimes, causing some un-recoverable damages too.

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even i have heard many ppl sayin that love marriages dont work and that arranged marriages do, are'nt there cases when the arranged marriages also end up in Caios ??? since the number of arranged marriages are more such failures are not noticed by many...

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<with most innocent look>
I.....don't know...who is Kalinka :D
</with most innocent look>

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:lol::D

Hey buddy Congrates. So Now Hunting is stop and gals can freely walk on the read :p

Why Love Marriage Don't Work.Because before marriage l .You are Living like Lovers Full of joy is there in your life Attraction is also One of the major factor is there. you Will do all of the things what he or she likes.but when you got engaged all things suddenly changed before marriage you only know his/her Positive point but After marriage negative point comes in Picture.All attraction goes down .you will start thinking oh now he os she is mine so who cares. So it creates Misunderstanding between two Lovers so they become ex.

So i can say this Doesn't happen in case of Love marriage or Arrange Marriage it's all depends on your mentality and yes to ofund a perfect match is depend on destiny only.

i saw a lot of arrange marriage also Breakedup in a very short time. So guys Love is love and arrange is arrange it's depend how you treat the condition . and in this case Asian guys and gals are very Good because they Know That After marriage if some problem comes how to face it apart from this in western they follow western culture if problem come call to lawer for divorce.

That's all

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Originally Posted by sreehari

and generally is not a problem unless one says that he/she has someone else in mind. :D

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Which basically means you are forced to marry the one chosen by your parents and that you are not actually allowed a mind of your own. (I'm only commenting on your note).

I don't want to get into statistics. Statistics are two-edge blade. I know things are different, and it's hard for me to understand. But I don't understand how somebody's parents could know better than the person herself who is a good pair/match for her/him.

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Originally Posted by cilu

But I don't understand how somebody's parents could know better than the person herself who is a good pair/match for her/him.

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Well, one reason why Parents make good-choosers is that they don't make a decision in a love-lorn or lonely status.
They make practical decisions (or recommendations, to be more precise).

On the other hand, people who decide for themselves marry not only because they love each other but often because they are otherwise lonely, or because they don't see another way, or another option, or meet enough suitable people. Falling in love and marrying isn't always a rational decision, actually.

In comparison, arranged marriages are rational as they bring people with common interests, backgrounds and status together. Such people are automatically more likely to like each other or even fall in love, and these relationships are likely to last as they have many common factors that bind them together.

Besides, parents make a recommendation - not a decision. At least not in educated families.

Congrats Ejaz!! :thumb:

I think we already had a thread on Love vs Arranged marriage. Or was it some other forum?

To add my bit...

I think that children born and brought up in traditional families in India/pakistan see around them their parents, siters & bro-in-laws, uncle-aunties, brothers and sister-in-laws etc. who are married in the same way (arranged) and are hence themselves ready to get married the same way.

Its believed that the matches are made in heaven and are beyond the choice of one person.

Moreover, a chocolate (like me) has a better chance of getting cream in arranged scenario ;)

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Originally Posted by cilu

Which basically means you are forced to marry the one chosen by your parents and that you are not actually allowed a mind of your own. (I'm only commenting on your note).

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That was just a passing note that i made, :D tho ends up as reality most of the times. its not a person does not have his choice or openion, like Siddhartha put it a arranged marriage does not go foward unless the guy/girl gives a final yes.

The question of forcing someone never actually comes into this, its about values / cultures / the way things have been happening before to our elders, after all this in mind its just tat no one actually finds it a problem or an issue at all.

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I don't want to get into statistics. Statistics are two-edge blade. I know things are different, and it's hard for me to understand. But I don't understand how somebody's parents could know better than the person herself who is a good pair/match for her/him.

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probably when you become a father one day you will know :D ;) ( just kidding :D )