AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Smasher/Devourer

Dr. Werner Heisenberg is speeding down the freeway one day when he's pulled over by the police. The cop walks up to Heisenberg's window and with annoyance in his voice, asks: "Hey buddy, do you know how fast you were going back there?" Heisenberg replies, "No, but I know where I am."

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There is another one:

Our science department reported about the construction of device capable to accurately measure its own impetus. The device is being sought hitherto...

Universal Laws

1. Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

2. Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

4. Cannon's Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre,
the
next morning you will have a flat tyre.

5. O'brien's Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than
the one you are in now.

6. Bell's Theorem:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

7. Ruby's Principle of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with
someone you don't want to be seen with.

8. Willoughby's Law:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

9. Zadra's Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10. Breda's Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive
last.

11. Owen's Law:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to
do
something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12. Howden's Law:
You remember you have to mail a letter only when you're near the mailbox.

And the last and best :
13. Murphy's Law
What has to go wrong will go wrong.

i Like this one..

Quote:

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Shivaji Maharaj --> A respected warrior in India

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Peg After Peg

I never take risk while drinking

When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking
I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen
I stealthily enter the house
Take out the bottle from my black cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame
But still no one is aware of it
Becoz I never take a risk

I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack
Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is giving a smile

I peep into the kitchen
Wife is cutting potatoes
No one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk

I: Any news on Iyer's daughter's marriage
Wife: Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking out for her

I again come out; there is a small noise of the black cupboard
But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle
I take out the glass from the old rack above sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink
Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk

I: But still I think Iyer's daughter's age is not that much
Wife: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... like an aged horse
I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...

I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard
But the cupboard's place has automatically changed
I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy one peg in the
sink
Shivaji Maharaj laughs loudly
I keep the rack in the potatoes & wash Shivaji Maharaj's photo & keep it in the black cupboard
Wife is keeping the sink on the stove
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk

I: (getting angry) you call Mr. Iyer a horse? If you say that again, I will cut your tongue...!
Wife: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...

I take out the bottle from the potatoes
Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg
Wash the sink and keep it over the rack
Wife is giving a smile
Shivaji Maharaj is still cooking
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk

I: (laughing) So Iyer is marrying a horse!!
Wife: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...

I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack
Stove is also on the rack
There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside
I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink
But none of the horses are aware of what I did
Becoz Shivaji Maharaj never takes a risk
Iyer is still cooking

And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing
Becoz I never take what???

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by RoboTact

Our science department reported about the construction of device capable to accurately measure its own impetus. The device is being sought hitherto...

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Robo, can you explain the "The device is being sought hitherto" part. I'm not sure I understand it... :cry:

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Originally Posted by HanneSThEGreaT

Universal Laws

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I have a book with a whole collection of them, about 1000. I use to browse it from time to time to amuse... ;)

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Originally Posted by cilu

Robo, can you explain the "The device is being sought hitherto" part. I'm not sure I understand it... :cry:

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People are looking for it until this day.

But the joke doesn't make sense to me.

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Originally Posted by Yves M

People are looking for it until this day.

But the joke doesn't make sense to me.

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:evil nerd:

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Originally Posted by erickwidya

:thumb::thumb::thumb: Max Rule!!! :thumb::thumb::thumb:
so sad can't give reputation to u at this thread

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Fully agree with you, we need to sak moderators to alow us to rate treads in this forum :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Yves M

People are looking for it until this day.

But the joke doesn't make sense to me.

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Well, Heisenberg principle states that if you know the exact speed (or impetus) of a particle you cannot know the exact position. So the device can compute the exact impetus, but you don't exactly know where it is... I believe that's the idea...

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Originally Posted by Max Payne

/edit..
ahh just noticed youre a neighbour... wazz up pak...

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-. baik-baik saja :D

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an 80 years old guy make love with his 60 years old wife, he start suck her b****t..ten second later he died
autopsy report : "expired Milk!!!"

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:eek:

There's two best friends who like to get drunk but this time the money is only can buy a Sausage
the first guy got an idea, he said "don't worry, we still can drunk. Buy the sausage and u put it in ur zipper and do what i told u"
so they go to one Bar, after had enough drink..the first guy bend his knee and start to open the second one zipper and **** it..after that the bar guy send them out and they don't need to pay for the drink. So they went to 2nd bar, 3rd bar until 10 bar using the same method..after the 10 one the first guy said "i had enough, let's call it a day and where's the sausage..i'm hungry"
the second guy answer it "the sausage already gone while we at the 3rd Bar" :eek:

PS :excused me for my bad english

Quote:

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Originally Posted by erickwidya

-. baik-baik saja :D

:eek: an 80 years old guy make love with his 60 years old wife, he start suck her breast..ten second later he died

autopsy report : expired Milk

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hmm I sense something bad coming this way...;):p and I have nothing to do with this sheriff...:D

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hmm I sense something bad coming this way...;):p and I have nothing to do with this sheriff...:D

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upppsss sorry..i thought it will * instead of b****t..

anyway i already change it, very sorry for that..:blush:

vb_the_best, 'i never take risk' ;) while surfing thru this thread, trying best to contain my laughter. But today, everyone was looking at me b'cos I just could not control it!! :o

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cilu

Well, Heisenberg principle states that if you know the exact speed (or impetus) of a particle you cannot know the exact position. So the device can compute the exact impetus, but you don't exactly know where it is... I believe that's the idea...

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Could be, but impetus means "impulse" and so in physics would be acceleration, not speed.