Nah, moreover the best thing is that this beer doesn't get exported so we have it all to ourselves :cool:
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Nah, moreover the best thing is that this beer doesn't get exported so we have it all to ourselves :cool:
Ah, so noone can taste it abroad, indeed it's the best beer... all 3 bottles ;)Quote:
Originally posted by Yves M
Nah, moreover the best thing is that this beer doesn't get exported so we have it all to ourselves :cool:
I've written the best program ever! it's here, on my computer... I use it only for my purposes. :D
Been there.Quote:
Originally posted by Yves M
Wasserbillig is actually a town on the German border, how did you know that? :confused:
My Dad was stationed in Luxembourg for about 6 months at the end of WWII. He loved the place so much he would go to Luxembourg every year. My parents would rent an apartment for 2 weeks in Luxembourg city each summer. The summer in high school when I went there with them (yes it was 30 years ago), My dad forced me to go see General Patton's grave in Luxembourg. He was assigned as a medic to Patton's third army headquarters during the war.
One of my college roommates lives in Luxembourg; He is an engineer for Delphi Automotive. If you see him, run the other way fast:)
Late last Saturday night; a young man was walking home from a club. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a trash can. Then suddenly he heard a strange noise....bump..bump..bump.....Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving rain he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road. bump..bump..bump..
He couldn't believe his eyes, as the box approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly....It was a coffin! Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home. bump..bump...bump.He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking faster..bump...bump..bump...The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him..bump....bump...bump...
He started to sprint, but so did the coffin ..bump..bump...bump...bump..Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, his hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and slumped into his comfy chair. Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its chase...bump....screech..bump..screech..bump....
In horror he fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door...HOP.HOP..HOP.The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door. With an mighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges...The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young, terrified lad..bump..screech..
In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom cabinet..He grabbed a bar of soap and threw it at the coffin...Still it came ...bump..screech...He grabbed his can of deodorant and threw it .Still it came.. ..bump.screech..He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it . Still it came..bump..screech..bump..screech. Finally, in desperation, he grabbed a bottle of cough syrup and threw it. The coffin stopped....
Q: Which is the difference between a chicken?
A: It has the legs parallel. Rather the left one...
:D
and chicken didn't pee, jut poo...so they can be sh*tty but they can't get pissed off..Quote:
Originally Posted by cilu
This one doesnt fit to this thread, its funnyQuote:
and chicken didn't pee, jut poo...so they can be sh*tty but they can't get pissed off..
My friend attempted to tell me a joke when he was drunk a little bit:
Guy is walking down a street and suddenly he noticed a man who is pushing 2 meters long rope before him on the ground. Guy asks him: Why are you pushing this rope? And man answers: Somethings wrong? Should I... Dammit...
A man complains to a supermarket manager that the vinegar he bought has lumps in it. The supermarket manager says "those are pickled onions sir".
:D :D :D :thumbd:
A man killed another man = Bad guy
A man kiss another man = Grouse guy
A man slept with another man = Gay guy
A man killed himself = Dead, bad, grouse, gay guy
/That was a BAD jokes...BAD = Boring And Dumb:D
you got that right.. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by mrRee
I'm not good at telling jokes, BAD or GOOD jokes.. :p
Check out this one, it's a cracker!
Okay so... A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a brand new Ferrari 550. It is also one of the most expensive cars in the world, and it costs him 500,000 pounds. He takes it out for a spin and stops for a red traffic light.
An old man on a moped (about 75 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya'got there, sonny?" The young man replies, "A Ferrari 550, it cost half a million pounds!"
"That's a lot of money," says the old man, "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 220 miles an hour!" states the young dude proudly.
The moped driver asks, "Mind if i take a look inside?" "No problem," replies the
owner.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then sitting back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right...but I'll stick with my moped!"
Just then the light changes to green so the guy decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 20 seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph.
Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoooossshhh! Something whips by him, going much faster!!!
"What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?!" the young man asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 200mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the moped. Amazed that the moped could pass his Ferrari he gives it some more gas and passes the moped at 210mph.
Whoooooosh!
He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old mang aining on him again. Astounded by the speed of this old guy he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 220 mph. Not ten seconds later he sees the moped bearing down on him again. The Ferrari is flat out and there's nothing he can do.
Suddenly the moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the
rear. The young man jumps out, and unbelievably, the old man is still
alive!!!
He runs up to them angled old man and says, "Oh my! Is there
anything I can do for you?"
The old man whispers with his dying breath,
"Unhook...my braces from your side-view mirror!!"
A poem...
One bright day, in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came and killed the two dead boys.
Ifyoudontbelievemeyoucanasktheblindmanwhosawitallthroughaknotholeinabarbwirefence!
:D
got this frm an old mag
NOSMOKE joke
Tech Support : What's the problem?
Customer : There is smoke coming out of the power supply
Tech Support: You'll need a new power supply
Customer : No I don't! I just need to change the startup files
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You need to replace it.
Customer : No WAY! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command
10minutes later, the customer is still adament that they are right. The Tech Support is frustrated and fed up
Tech Support : sorry, sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem
Customer: I knew it!
Tech : just add the lime LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes
10 mins later
Customer : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
Cust: MS-DOS 6.22
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes
1 hour later
Cust : I need a new powersupply
Tech: How did u come that conclusion?
Cust : Well, I rang MS and told him all about what you said, and he started asking quesitons about the make of the power supply
Tech: Then what did he say?
Cust : He told me that my powersupply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE
The world explained through cows
>> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
>> You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies,
>> and the economy grows. You sell the herd and retire on the income.
>>
>> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
>> You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
>> milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>>
>> FRENCH CORPORATION
>> You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
>>
>> A JAPANESE CORPORATION
>> You have two cows. You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size
>> of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
>> You then create irritating cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and
>> market them world-wide at a fantastic profit.
>>
>> A GERMAN CORPORATION
>> You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
>> eat once a month, and milk themselves.
>>
>> ENGLISH CORPORATION
>> You have two cows. Both are mad.
>>
>> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
>> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
>> lunch.
>>
>> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
>> You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
>> count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and
>> learn you have 12 cows.
>>
>> You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>>
>> A SWISS CORPORATION
>> You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
>> You charge others for storing them.
>>
>> A HINDU CORPORATION
>> You have two cows. You worship them.
>>
>> CHINESE CORPORATION
>> You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
>> You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
>> newsman who reported the numbers.
>>
>> A WELSH CORPORATION
>> You have two cows. The younger one is rather attractive
>>
>> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
>> Western suburbs style....
>> You have 2 stolen bulls but think they are cows you die the first time
>> you try and milk them.
>>
>> AN IRISH CORPORATION
>> Who cares, The EU really owns them now and the pub is still serving.
>>
>> NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
>> You have two cows. You don't know what they are used for as they
>> aren't sheep. You shag them anyway.