Re: Spider Man.............No More!
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Originally Posted by cilu
OK, but really, why do we have to involve the parents at all? :p That's my question... Why can't the two people that get married arrange everything?
Well, in Asia, families ties are considered very important. Marriage between 2 persons are not only the union of 2 hearts, bodies and money purses :D, but also all their families as well. So after the marriage, the couple still maintain a very strong family ties with their parents etc. As there are quite a number of factor, I believe that arranged marriage in India culture requires both families to tactfully mix and match to ensure that the marriage is successful. This is why they are looking for compatibilities in many areas, like families background, the person's character. I am not sure if there are similar saying but my folks alway tell me that if you want to know a person well, you have to know the person's friends first. In other words, with sufficient research and being done properly, arranged marriages can give better result rather than impulses of 2 love birds. On the contrary, if arranged marriage is being done on the impulses of parents without the appriopriate research, I believe the result will not be good. IMHO, I believe that it is the same as prior planning work in any software project. In order to ensure the success of the project, we have to do sufficient research as well as risk management. :D
Re: Spider Man.............No More!
Quote:
Originally Posted by cilu
OK, but really, why do we have to involve the parents at all? :p That's my question... Why can't the two people that get married arrange everything?
Cultural and social differences. Asian kids are more bound to the family and parents as a whole. I am 28 and still living with my parents in a joint family. In Europe and America you could find this very strange and even shameful. Not only marriages, but every major decisions I take involves the whole family. This could be both bad and good. I have seen cases even in my own family that if parents do not take the initiative and arrange for the marriage, the boy or girl is left unmarried for the entire life.
You'would be surprised to know in marriages here not only parents are involved but from grand parents to uncles and aunts, close family friends come into action. To go along with the marriage, the proposal should pass with "No objection" along the entire family hierarchy.
But the scenario is changing slowly mainly in the urban areas where people are more literate and independent.
Re: Spider Man.............No More!
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Originally Posted by kheun
Well, in Asia, families ties are considered very important. [...]
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Originally Posted by miteshpandey
Cultural and social differences. Asian kids are more bound to the family and parents as a whole. I am 28 and still living with my parents in a joint family. In Europe and America you could find this very strange and even shameful. Not only marriages, but every major decisions I take involves the whole family. This could be both bad and good. I have seen cases even in my own family that if parents do not take the initiative and arrange for the marriage, the boy or girl is left unmarried for the entire life.
I definitelly agree that it's good to know the family and relatives of the person you want to marry. It's good to know the "background" of the person you marry. But, you should not forget that children are not accountable for their parents deeds, nor for their other relatives, and if something bad happened in the family it shouldn't stop you to marry someone, especially when she/he doesn't have anything to do with that. Don't know if you've seen the movie "Bend it like Beckham"; when I did, I was quite shoked on how much the familly "background", or other members of the family's deeds can influence a decision of marrying. If you've seen it, does it happen like that in those parts?
Well, one thing that I can tell you for sure is that I learned a few things from this thread.
Re: Spider Man.............No More!
Congrats Ejaz :wave:
May you both united together in the holy matrimony. God bless you both
Re: Spider Man.............No More!
Quote:
Originally Posted by cilu
I definitelly agree that it's good to know the family and relatives of the person you want to marry. It's good to know the "background" of the person you marry. But, you should not forget that children are not accountable for their parents deeds, nor for their other relatives, and if something bad happened in the family it shouldn't stop you to marry someone, especially when she/he doesn't have anything to do with that. Don't know if you've seen the movie "Bend it like Beckham"; when I did, I was quite shoked on how much the familly "background", or other members of the family's deeds can influence a decision of marrying. If you've seen it, does it happen like that in those parts?
Its not only that the Children are accountable for their parents deeds, sometimes even the parents are accountable for the childrens deeds. i would not call it accountability , ( it differs in different peoples views and how they look at things ) but , in cultures in this part , all this is more or less related , ones action will/ might influence others thinking. it could be because the society the culture plays a very important role.
Frankly, here in india still intercast marriages are not fully accepted, let alone the family , the society is not ready to accept.
The movie , thats a tipical orthodox family of India :) , things like these used to happen in the past probably about 50 years back, were the women folk were to be inside the house it self, as they were the house makers. such things still happen in remote place , villages in some rural parts of india till date
Re: Spider Man.............No More!
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Originally Posted by Ejaz
Finally, last night Ejaz took the lead of Deniz and Peejavery............and unbelievably (for him) got engaged. Yup, spider man.....no more!!! :blush:
Congratulations! :wave:
Re: Spider Man.............No More!
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Originally Posted by Alpha Vijayan
Congrats Ejaz :wave:
May you both united together in the holy matrimony. God bless you both
Thanx :)
Re: Spider Man.............No More!
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Originally Posted by Deniz
Congratulations! :wave:
Thanx :), btw any advice(s)? ;)
Re: Spider Man.............No More!
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Originally Posted by Ejaz
Thanx :), btw any advice(s)? ;)
:ehh: is that question open for every one to ans or only for Married members ?? :) :cool:
Re: Spider Man.............No More!
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Originally Posted by sreehari
is that question open for every one to ans or only for Married members ?? :) :cool:
Well, this is a free/open development community, anything that is under AUP is acceptable and as Deniz is both senior and generous in giving advices (specially to engaged or guys getting married), so I just asked him. I remember his one advice to someone
Secret of Safe Marriage Life: "Yes Maam, Ok Maam", thats all ;)
So, I was wondering, is there is something else stored in there. If you wanna contribute, then sure, be my guest :thumb: :D
Re: Spider Man.............No More!
My, my... wasn't it not long ago that you Ejaz asked me when I'll be settling down.. and look at you now.... engaged and getting married in six months or so... http://forums.codeguru.com/images/ie.../2006/06/1.gif
Re: Spider Man.............No More!
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Originally Posted by cherish
Yeah, some one told me that the time that I can have is one that I'm having right row, between engagement and wedding. Lets see, anyway I would still like to say that, blind men are not that bad, :cool: and the time that is gone, won't come back again :rolleyes: , so ....................... you know what I mean, yeah offcourse you do :p
Re: Spider Man.............No More!
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Originally Posted by Ejaz
Yeah, some one told me that the time that I can have is one that I'm having right row, between engagement and wedding. Lets see, anyway I would still like to say that, blind men are not that bad, :cool:
LOL!! http://forums.codeguru.com/images/ie.../2006/06/1.gif
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ejaz
... and the time that is gone, won't come back again :rolleyes: , so ....................... you know what I mean, yeah offcourse you do :p
So... you're saying you really really like her, huh? That's really great. :) :thumb:
// Just make sure she doesn't find out what [...] means. ;) :D
Re: Spider Man.............No More!
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Originally Posted by cherish
Well, not exactly, let me put it in a better way, I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really ......................... really, like her :cool:
Quote:
Originally Posted by cherish
// Just make sure she doesn't find out what [...] means. ;) :D
Well, sooner or later, I'll have to tell her about [...] myself. I'm sure, she'll be strong enough to take it, or Doctor Deniz Golden Theorm is there "Yes Maam, Ok Maam" ;)
Re: Spider Man.............No More!
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Originally Posted by Ejaz
Well, not exactly, let me put it in a better way, I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really ......................... really, like her :cool:
That's really^10 :thumb: :thumb:
I am really so happy for both of you. :) :) And I have a feeling that she as a great sense of humor, so you won't be having any problem telling her out about [...] ;)
