AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

Good One...

-->The programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball." "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"

-->"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"
"No..."
"Inheritance."

-->In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them.

-->C gives you enough rope to hang yourself. C++ also gives you the tree object to tie it to.

-->Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines were at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.

How to Shoot Yourself In the Foot

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Originally Posted by sunnypalsingh

The programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball." "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"

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nice one

Quote:

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Originally Posted by How to Shoot Yourself In the Foot

Genetic Algorithms
You create 10,000 strings describing the best way to shoot yourself in the foot. By the time the program produces the optimal solution, humans have evolved wings and the problem is moot.

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This one is nice. I have heaqrd about Genetic Algorithms first time.

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Java
You locate the Gun class, but discover that the Bullet class is abstract, so you extend it and write the missing part of the implementation. Then you implement the ShootAble interface for your foot, and recompile the Foot class. The interface lets the bullet call the doDamage method on the Foot, so the Foot can damage itself in the most effective way. Now you run the program, and call the doShoot method on the instance of the Gun class. First the Gun creates an instance of Bullet, which calls the doFire method on the Gun. The Gun calls the hit(Bullet) method on the Foot, and the instance of Bullet is passed to the Foot. But this causes an IllegalHitByBullet exception to be thrown, and you die.

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Great! It's just like that.

The Top Six Reasons Why Computers Are Female

6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.

5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:

1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.

L M A O! ! :D

Dangereous Stunt (for whom? :p )

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."

No joke here: this is the 1000 reply to this thread.

There are 11 human faces in this picture.
Normal people can find 4-5.
If you can find 8-9, you have very good sense of observation.
If you can find 10, you are extremely good observer.
If you can find 11, you are extraordinarly good observer.

It is no joke for me...:sick:

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Originally Posted by sunnypalsingh

There are 11 human faces in this picture.

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Hmmm. Yeah. Exactly what constitutes a "human face"... because if you let your imagination go really wild then you can probably spot several hundred. I always find these things a bit of a farce.

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS ARE PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING
ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:

1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
--------------------------------------------------
2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
--------------------------------------------------
3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
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4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
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5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
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6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."
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7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"
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8). Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."


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9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
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10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
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11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
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12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
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13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print
document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
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14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24
hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
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15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
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16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that his
computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and
it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is
frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is
an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let
me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the
file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
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17) customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now and

may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the **** do I find your computer?

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There are 11 human faces in this picture.
Normal people can find 4-5.
If you can find 8-9, you have very good sense of observation.
If you can find 10, you are extremely good observer.
If you can find 11, you are extraordinarly good observer

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I see eleven faces. If anywone needs it, I can highlight them for you. ;)