Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marriage
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Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marriage
If you haven't tried this already:Quote:
Originally Posted by Deniz
In Google, type in "french military victories" and hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. On the upcoming page, hit "french military defeats" and get a humorous history lesson.
Type "american military victories" and press "I'm feeling lucky". You'll be directed to a page about "French Military Victories". :D
Type failure in Google.
You will get Biography of President George W. Bush
:D :D :DQuote:
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to blast them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes ! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out,and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
Admit it, you're laughing, aren't you
Layoff Background
Once upon a time, the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.
Parliament said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.
Then Parliament said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.
Then Parliament said," How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.
Then Parliament said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people.
Then Parliament said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.
Then Parliament said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."
So they laid off the night watchman.
this is not that funny, but its something to think about..;)
Quote:
A young Buddhist initiate asked his mentor to describe hell. "Ah, hell," the monk said, "it is like a large banquet hall with countless rows of tables laden with sumptuous meals and delicious drinks." "But Teacher," the surprised initiate said, "I thought those in hell would suffer." "Oh, they do." answered the monk. "You see, there are four-foot long chopsticks permanently attached to their hands. Although they can pick up the food, the length of the chopsticks makes it impossible to reach their mouths."
"That's horrible. Teacher, tell me about heaven." the initiate pleaded. "Ah, heaven," the monk sighed, "it is like a large banquet hall with countless rows of tables laden with sumptuous meals and delicious drinks, and permanently attached to everyone's hands are four-foot long chopsticks." "But Teacher, isn't that the same as hell?" the initiate stuttered. "No," the monk replied, "the people are different. Although they cannot feed themselves, they feed each other!"
See This :)
Confidence
Some meaningful definitions....
Father :- A banker provided by nature.
Boss :- Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Smile :- A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Rumour :- News that travels at the speed of sound.
Dictionary:- The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
College :- A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
Office :- A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.
Yawn :- The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Marriage :- It is an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master's.
Etc. :- A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee :- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Classic :- A book which people praise, but do not read.
Worry :- Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
Experience:- The name men give to their mistakes.
Tears :- The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
Atom Bomb :- An invention to end all inventions.
CORPORATE LESSON # 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up
her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few
seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the
doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and
runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door
neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 just to drop
that towel that you have on". After thinking for a
moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800
and quietly leaves.
Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps
back up in the towel and goes upstairs. When she gets back
to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he
owes me?"
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Share critical credit information with your stakeholders to prevent
avoidable exposure!
_______________________________________________________
CORPORATE LESSON # 2
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a
French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the
bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him
out of thebottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming
pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool
and jump, you shout What you want the pool of water to become, then
your wish will come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and
shouted WINE". The pool immediately changed into a
pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from
the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA"
and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so
contented with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when
suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards
the pool and shouted, "****!!!!!!!........."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Mind your language, you never Know what it will land you in.
Strange:confused: I tried it and the biography was indeed hit number one.:confused:Quote:
Originally Posted by senproin
Nice ones Sunnypalsingh, Senproin, Max. :thumb: :)
How much is 5 + 5 ?
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ARE U LOOKING FOR ANSWER?
Shame on you
who recruited u ????????????????????
:)