So this termite walks into a bar and says to the bartender..
"Bartender! Where is the bar tender?"
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So this termite walks into a bar and says to the bartender..
"Bartender! Where is the bar tender?"
Hahaha, oh Tom Frohman, you're quite the class clown.Quote:
Originally posted by Tom Frohman
So this termite walks into a bar and says to the bartender..
"Bartender! Where is the bar tender?"
Here's a question for thought- Who's you're favorite comedian? As for me, I might just go with Jack Handey... he's so random
:D :cool:
Twenty years ago I'd have said Steve Martin.
There are some authors/books I've read that were terribly funny. So I'll put down Douglas Adams as my favourite comedian for The Hitchhikers Guide. The more off the wall the better.
Honorable mention: Evelyn Waugh for Scoop and Vile Bodies.
Tom
Douglas Adams changed my life. I never leave home without a towel now.Quote:
Originally posted by Tom Frohman
Douglas Adams [is] my favourite comedian for The Hitchhikers Guide
I'll leave you with a piece of Jack Handey, for those of you who have not yet had the pleasure of knowing him:
Quote:
As we were driving, we saw a sign that said ''Watch for Rocks.'' Marta said it should read ''Watch for Pretty Rocks.'' I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!
-Jack Handey
Sorry, I have to go back a ways in this thread...Quote:
Why is it that when men are asked to talk for a while, they stutter around for some time and eventually turn to football? Come on now, that can't be a good indicator of what's going on upstairs...
Why is it that so many women assume an interest in football indicates low intelligence, even though they don't understand how the game works themselves? I realize there are a lot of beer-totin' slobs that love football, but that's only because there are a lot of beer-totin' slobs out there and football is the most popular U.S. sport. It's not the beer-totin' slobs that play the game. Football's an exciting, team-oriented, strategic sport and it takes a decent amount of intelligence to play it.
Many of the poster's on this thread have developed complicated software for things like physics simulation, drug pharmacokinetics, etc. These are interesting things, that I'm sure a lot of people want to sit down and explore with others. For example, me and some friends the other day were talking about Wachterhauser's theory that the origin of life was assisted by thioester's ability to act both in group transport phosphate energy channels and electron transport NADH type channels. That's the Origin Of Life. Really interesting stuff. Compared to... football?
My post was not about saying guys are stupid but an attempt at prodding an elevated level of conversation so I might be interested in joining this thread more. I understand the rules of football quite well, even american football. I just don't enjoy spending alot of time talking about it.
You speak as though European football (American soccer) and American football are the same thing. Anyone who thinks that the two sports have anything in common aside from 11 player teams is very mistaken. Interesting topics are a matter of opinion. I consider sports interesting if there is a situation, i.e. if we were to say the football team has the ball on their own 30 yard line on 3rd and 4, what play do they run, etc. Football, and other sports, are humans doing human things, that's what makes them interesting. There's no single correct or best thing to do in a football game.Quote:
Originally posted by galathaea
I understand the rules of football quite well, even american football.
If you want something more intelligible, how about talking about Schroedinger or someone like that, that seems to be what you like, intelligent scientists. Just say something and others will follow.
From Galathaea:
That's totally extreme and crazy! What u mention seems to be more geared towards scientific programming, like FORTRAN and such on those mainframes and such. I was thinking that most Windows programmers like me wouldn't do such stuff. We write normal programs with normal GUI for mere mortals. This is crazy! :):)Quote:
Many of the poster's on this thread have developed complicated software for things like physics simulation, drug pharmacokinetics, etc. These are interesting things, that I'm sure a lot of people want to sit down and explore with others. For example, me and some friends the other day were talking about Wachterhauser's theory that the origin of life was assisted by thioester's ability to act both in group transport phosphate energy channels and electron transport NADH type channels. That's the Origin Of Life. Really interesting stuff. Compared to... football?
And I thought US and UK footbal/soccer are exactly the same sport with different names???!!! Again, this is getting crazy! :eek: :eek:
Yes, humans have been interested in sports for quite some time. Particularly ball sports. There are some artistic displays of ball games in some Middle Eastern sites dating back 5 to 6 thousand years, and in the new world there are the well known mesoamerican depictions. There are no depictions I know that show women playing, but that is definitely something I would love to be contradicted on. Women more likely were gathering, as it is well known that until the Industrial Revolution, women spent a greater percentage of their time working on obtaining food and maintaining the dwelling than men, and provided according to most estimates, between 80 to 90 percent of the nutrition of humanity. Hunting, it is quite humorous to me, never really did help much, since there are many studies which show that usually the effort of hunting consumed more calories than were brought home. Which is why, it seems to me, women were never really into ball sports until very recently in our history. I'm glad you responded to my original post asking why men found football interesting. It definitely is something we can talk about more.
Oh, but please do not assume my ignorance and I will not assume yours. I was the one who made the clever little distinction between football and american football. And I claimed I knew the rules of both (plus I understand many other sports... I played volleyball in highschool and even played baseball as a kid).
First of all, they are the same. Second of all, you couldn't be any more crazy than you already are. I could always be proved wrong...Quote:
Originally posted by Xeon
I thought US and UK footbal/soccer are exactly the same sport with different names???!!! Again, this is getting crazy! :eek: :eek:
Forgive me, but:
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey buddy, why the long face?"
A hamburger walks into a bar. Bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here".
A priest, a rabbi, and a Baptist minister walk into a bar. Bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
A skeleton walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "I'll have a beer and a mop"....
A three-legged dog limps into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
Polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a gin......................................and tonic". Bartender says, "What's with the big pause?" The Polar Bear says, "I dunno...I've always had them."
A guy walks into a bar, and there's a horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy is staring at the horse, when the horse says, "Hey buddy? What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?" The guy says, "No, it's not that... it's just that I never thought the parrot would sell the place."
Bartender jokes...My favorite:)
A grasshopper walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Bartender, I'll have a screwdriver!". The bartender says "Sure and since we have a drink named after you. You can have it for free". The grasshopper says "I've never heard of a drink named Irving!".
Tom
Well, it seems to me that you are the kind of person that usually assumes they understand any topic, but I have a feeling in this case, football, you do not. Your original post seemed to already assume our ignorance.Quote:
I understand the rules of football quite well, even american football...Oh, but please do not assume my ignorance and I will not assume yours.
Ah, so it's a "women are just more intelligent" kind of thing. Perhaps hunting was more useful in maintaining the fighting skill of the men at an adequate level to defend the women from wild animals or other men. Or are you saying that men served no purpose other than reproduction?Quote:
Hunting, it is quite humorous to me, never really did help much, since there are many studies which show that usually the effort of hunting consumed more calories than were brought home.
As for Gunter, that's a very interesting topic, but to many people, so is football. Maybe to you the origin of life is all we need concern our minds with, but others lead a more balanced lifestyle. It's a matter of personal choice. To claim a discussion of football is at some lower level of intelligence shows some extreme arrogance. Software engineers taking a short break from work to discuss football, in my lesser lifeform opinion, is quite healthy.
Hilarious!Quote:
A hamburger walks into a bar. Bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here".
Another gem!Quote:
Polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a gin......................................and tonic". Bartender says, "What's with the big pause?" The Polar Bear says, "I dunno...I've always had them."
Ok ok... here's one:
The Texan visiting Vermont asked a farmer how large an acreage he cultivated. The Vermonter said meditatively, "Oh, it's quite large. My farm extends for about a hundred yards in that direction and for nearly a hundred-twenty yards in that. And how large an acreage do you handle?" The Texan could not help but smile. "Back home," he said, "I have a ranch with my house at one end. I can get into my car at the house, turn on the ignition key, step on the gas, and atthe end of the day, still not have reached the ther end." The Vermont farmer nodded sympathetically. "Tough! I once had a car like that, too."
Listen, Pug. I really did not intend to turn the feel of this thread into something negative. It's been entertaining and I hope it continues to be. So for anyone who took my original post as an attack:
I appologize.
I am just one of those types that enjoys teasing and prodding those I am communicating with, but I never intend harm. I'm just playful.
And well, I am the type who assumes I CAN know anything if I put the time into it. This has served me well throughout my life. I basically figure that learning any field involves knowing two things: the objects the field talks about, and the transformations those objects have been described to undergo. This is the basis of the modified noun/modified verb semantics that all human languages support. I don't think its a bad thing to assume that I can know something.
But, lets get back to the fun. Does anyone here enjoy the satirist Robert Anton Wilson? In my life, I have enjoyed satire by Douglas Adams, Oscar Wilde, Kurt Vonnegut, and RAW. But I really hold the greates admiration for RAW. All of his works are CrAaZy!!