AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

An old couple decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor
tells
them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start
writing
things down to help them remember.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his
chair.
His
wife asks, "Where are you going?"

"To the kitchen" he replies.

"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

"Sure."

"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"
she
asks.


"No, I can remember it."

She says, "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better
write it down because you know you'll forget it."

He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with
strawberries."

"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so
you'd
better write it down!" she retorts.

Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember
it!


Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got
it, for goodness sake!"

Then he grumbles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes the old man
returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and
eggs.


She stares at the plate for a moment and says - "Where's my toast?

In a football match between a team of a medical college and engineering college, one of the players of medical college was injured in a tackle and lay on the ground clutching his ankle. The coach felt confident that the team-mates of the injured player would administer any necessary treatment. yet there was a surprising reluctance to help him.
"Can't one of you medics see to his ankle?" asked the coach.
"Not really," came the reply. "We're all first year students and we haven't done the leg yet."

A fully booked plane was in the middle of its flight when the captain announced over the public address system:

“Attention passengers, this is your captain speaking. The aircraft seems to be overloaded. If we don’t get rid of some of the weight on the plane, we will have to crash land. So this is to inform you that all baggage is to be thrown out of the plane”

Later, the captain announces:

“Attention passengers, it seems the aircraft is still too heavy. We are going to have to throw people off the plane. Since we know there won’t be any volunteers, the only fair thing to do is to go by nationalities in alphabetical order.”

“OK – Letter A – will all of the African-Americans move toward the exit sign.”

No one moved.

“ Letter B – will all of the Blacks move toward the exit sign.”

Still, no one moved.

“ Letter C – will all of the Coloreds please move toward the exit sign.”

Yet again, no one budged.

A little girl nudged her mother and said, “But, Mom, I thought we were Nigerians.”

The mother said, “No baby. Not today. Today, we are going to be Zulus”

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar.

"What can I get you?" the bartender inquires.

"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.

"6 shots! Are you celebrating something?"

"Yeah, my first B-J."

"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."

"No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, Nothing will."

This is great for a quick laugh :-

Step 1 : Go to Goggle's Translation Site : http://www.google.com/language_tools?hl=en

Step 2 : Enter the following line into the translate textbox: Aishwarya's grand mom is nice and cool

Step 3 : Translate from English to Spanish.

Step 4 : Copy the translated text, and translate it back from Spanish to English.

Google Translation rocks !

This came from a prim and proper Jewish client of mine

Quote:

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A koala is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says to the koala "Hey! what are you doing?"

The koala says "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

The little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard, "What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"

The koala looks down and says

"Faaaaarrrrk dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"

---

I still havn't stoped laughing....

A motorist was driving down the highway and all of a sudden he hit a parrot. He pulled over, picked the poor parrot who was still alive but unconscious.
He decided to take him home. When the motorist got home, he put the parrot in a cage, leaving him some bread and water inside.

When the parrot regained consciousness, he looked around and said:
.
.
.
"BARS, bread, water...Oh my God!! I have killed the Motorist!!!

The little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and
noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.
The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father."
The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that."
The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of
many."
The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he
doesn't wear his collar that way."
The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds" and
went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and
said, "May be you should wear your pants backwards instead of your
collar".

A: what are your favorite hobbies?
B: playing music.
A: where do you that ?
B: in generation organismes :p :D :thumb:

Safe Crash

I got this one from an email just now. Not sure if this has been posted here yet:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by leojose

A motorist was driving down the highway and all of a sudden he hit a parrot. He pulled over, picked the poor parrot who was still alive but unconscious.
He decided to take him home. When the motorist got home, he put the parrot in a cage, leaving him some bread and water inside.

When the parrot regained consciousness, he looked around and said:
.
.
.
"BARS, bread, water...Oh my God!! I have killed the Motorist!!!

---

GOOD ONE DUDE... !!:D:D:D:D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by leojose

The little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and
noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.
The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father."
The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that."
The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of
many."
The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he
doesn't wear his collar that way."
The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds" and
went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and
said, "May be you should wear your pants backwards instead of your
collar".

---

Too good Leojose !!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jayender.vs

This is great for a quick laugh :-

Step 1 : Go to Goggle's Translation Site : http://www.google.com/language_tools?hl=en

Step 2 : Enter the following line into the translate textbox: Aishwarya's grand mom is nice and cool

Step 3 : Translate from English to Spanish.

Step 4 : Copy the translated text, and translate it back from Spanish to English.

Google Translation rocks !

---

:D :D :D Good one... Did you find that by yourself?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jayender.vs

Too good Leojose !!

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Indeed.. I burst into laughter in front of all office people as I was reading this... :D :D