Now, why didn't I think of that?? LOL!! :D ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by sreehari
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Now, why didn't I think of that?? LOL!! :D ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by sreehari
Recently a worldwide survey was conducted by U.N. The question asked was,
"Would you please give your opinion about the food shortage in the rest of the world?".
The survey was a huge failure.
In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant.
In western Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant.
In eastern Europe they didn't know what 'opinion' meant.
In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant.
And in U.S they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.
what about Asia ???
guess the survey people did not know that these is a planet :eek: :D called asia :D ???
Why is Six afraid of Seven ? Because 7 8 9.
The President, First Lady and **** Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."
Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."
Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy.
:DQuote:
Humans are so Dumb !!! it took 3000 years and then finally an apply to fall on their head to realise that , we and everythin else are stuck to something :D
A Lesson to Learn
A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it.
He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there.
However, the cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home.
The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened.
He kept increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept coming home before him.
At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge,
then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there.
An hour later.... The man calls his wife at home and asks her, "Jen is the cat there?"
"Yes, why do you ask?" asked his wife.
Frustrated the man said," Put that **** cat on the phone, I am lost and I need directions to reach home!!!
VIRUS ALERT
There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by
hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If
you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else
via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life
completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take
two good friends to the nearest bar. Purchase the antidote known as
Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE) or
Bothersome-Employer-Eliminator-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote
repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
I'm sure you cannot press the button
http://img252.echo.cx/img252/8159/006wo.swf
:lol:hahah!!!...:D:DQuote:
Originally Posted by sunnypalsingh
why did I find it's amusing?...or is it just me?:rolleyes:...
I had to go thru twice, but was dissapointed. Maybe I should have turned on JAVASCRIPT? I was expecting more...
God: Men, what car you get in Heaven will depend on how faithful you were to your wives on Earth. Man 1: Please God, I can''''t count how many times I cheated on my wife. There were just too many beautiful women on Earth, and I had to have them all.
God: I am ashamed of you, my man, For that, I give you a run-down truck that barely moves.
Man 2: Dear God, please forgive me! I cheated on my wife once, just once! We were going through problems and I took the wrong turn. Please forgive me!
God: My man, I am ashamed of you too. But I will be kinder to you. For that, I give you a convertible BMW.
Man 3: Dear God, you will be so proud of me. I loved and worshipped my wife. I brought her roses everyday after work, I brought her gifts every aniversary, and we went travelling, and had dinner out three times a week, and...
God: Okay, my man, enough! I get the point. I am very proud of you! For that, I give you any car you desire!
Two weeks later Man 1 and 2 are driving on the freeway when they see Man 3 ahead of them, stopped in the middle of the road in his Black Jaguar.
Man 1 and 2: Hey Man! Why are you sitting in your car and crying your eyes out? You''''re acting like some ungrateful bugger! Look at your car, man! What is your problem?!
Man 3: "I just saw my wife on rollerskates!"
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult, "Gonzales said. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
There was magician on a cruise ship, and he was really good. He was performing the highlight of his show when a parrot walked onstage and squawked, ''It's in his sleeve!''
The magician chased the bird away.
The next day the magician was performing his highlight again (in front of a smaller audience) when the parrot walked onstage and declared, ''It's in his pocket!''
The next day, as he was performing the highlight, he saw the parrot in the crowd. But before the parrot could ruin the magic trick, the boat crashed into a rock and sank.
The magician was lucky enough to find a board to hang on to. On the other end of the board was the parrot.
They stared at each other for three full days, neither of them saying anything, when suddenly the parrot said, ''I give up, what'd you do with the ship?''
// BONUS - This reminds me of a great -
//Mitch Hedberg Quote
- Magicians disappear all the time, but as soon as a regular person does it, everyone is all scared. "Tom's gone!" "Is he a magician?" "No." "Then let's print up some flyers!"
A chinese went into a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter he was amazed to see that he was sitting next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg.
After a round of beer the chinese sensed that the famous director was glaring at him. Suddenly in a flash the chinese crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious punch from the director.
Picking himself up he yelled, "What the hell was that for?"
The director ranted, "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbour, My dad perished in that bombing!".
"I am not Japanese. I am Chinese!".
"Yeah yeah yeah..... Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, You are all the same." retorted Spielberg.
Regaining his composure, the Chinese took his seat and ordered a double from the bartender. A few seconds later the Chinese turned round, and delivered a mighty punch to the director, sending him flat onto the floor.
"What was that for?", exclaimed the director.
"That's for sinking the 'Titanic'. I had ancestors on that ship!", the Chinese replied.
"You ignorant man, Titanic was sunk by an iceberg!", shouted the director.
"Yeah yeah yeah.....Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg...you are all the same!!".