Don't ever touch me when I am nude or you'll get electric shock
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Don't ever touch me when I am nude or you'll get electric shock
Bill (on the phone): you busy?...
Bob: no, I'm at work...
A man and his wife, both 60 years old, are celebrating their 40th year of marriage.
A fairy decides to realize two whises, one for the man and one for the wife.
Well - says the wife - I would like to do a new honeysmoon around the world. So the fairy creates tickets for the trip, travellers cheques and so on...
Well - says the man - I would like to have a wife 30 years younger than me. So the fairy grows up man's age to 90 years.
Please notice: men are bad, but fairies are women...
How many fairies are there ? :)
men are monkeys.
[edit] sorry, i am used to "normalization", "no-rules", "non-special", "borderless"...
I never say a dirty word whenever i get mad because perhaps I am a monk
hypocrite !
:) :)
:d :d :d
Software Engineering Explained
http://2listnow.com/googleimage/soft...d1r550x413.jpg
hehe one of our engineer printed this and put it in the notice board.. many people ask who posted it, but only a few knows, he quit already, but the post is still there..:p:DQuote:
Originally Posted by ovidiucucu
I have "broadcasted" it to everyone in the company, including to the management and to the clients.Quote:
Originally Posted by Max Payne
No problem, they know the situation wery well, and I'm still here. :D
Idiot :)
Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared
for the worst answer.
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness
to the stand. The witness was a grand motherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams.I've know you since
you
were a young boy,and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper
pusher. Yes, I know you. "
The Lawyer was stunned.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and ! asked,
"Mrs.Jones. do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr.Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a
drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his
law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention
he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of them was your
wife.Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet
voice, said,
"If either of you **** asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you in jail for
contempt."
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display.
While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey please."
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey.
He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, that'll be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Why did it cost
so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C very fast, tight
code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage.
"That one's even more expensive! $10,000!
What does it do?"
"Oh, that one's a C++ monkey;
it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java.
All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey
in a cage of its own.
The price tag around its neck read $50,000.
The gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more
than all the other put together! What on earth does it do?" The shopkeeper replied,
"Well, I haven't actually seen it doing anything, but the other monkeys call him the project
manager."
Monkeys doing programming! That is rich! LOL