I'll get the ball rolling:
A man walks into a bar and says: "Ouch"
Hardy harr harrr :rolleyes:
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I'll get the ball rolling:
A man walks into a bar and says: "Ouch"
Hardy harr harrr :rolleyes:
I don't get it.
Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
[ba dum, bum]
Proper bar jokes require a duck always.
Then the duck says "I won it in a raffle".Quote:
Originally posted by Joe Nellis
Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
[ba dum, bum]
Proper bar jokes require a duck always.
I'm voting this the worst thread.
The conclusion: Deniz is a duck :rolleyes:
We will have to see if he floats....Otherwise he is a witch!
N: Doctor this man is homesick.
D: That's impossible he can't be homesick if he's here sick.
How many Texans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four: One to change the bulb, one to write a song about it and two to fight about it in the parking lot.
How many Aussies does it take to change a light bulb? None.
One to go down to the pub and drink beer.
One to go down to the pub and drink beer and keep his mate company and spin a yarn.
One to go down to the pub and drink beer and keep his two mates company and spin more yarns.
One to go down to the pub and drink beer and keep his two mates company and spin more yarns.
One to go down to the pub and drink beer and keep his two mates company and spin more yarns.
One to go down to the pub and drink beer and keep his two mates company and spin more yarns.
One to go down to the pub and drink beer and keep his two mates company and spin more yarns.
One to go down to the pub and drink beer and keep his two mates company and spin more yarns.
... (etc etc ad nauseum)
:rolleyes:
Wife to husband - "By God, when you're dead I'm going to dance on your grave."
Husband to wife - "I'm looking forward to it. I'm getting buried at sea."
Wife to husband - "That's what you think"
Unless I didn't get the joke completely, I wouldn't say that's too bad, Deniz is farrrr worse than you are :D .Quote:
Originally posted by John E
Wife to husband - "By God, when you're dead I'm going to dance on your grave."
Husband to wife - "I'm looking forward to it. I'm getting buried at sea."
a: Whats 1+1 = to.
b: 3
a: wrong its window
There is a bar at the 16th floor of a house. A man with long hair is sitting in it and orders a vodka. He drunk it and jumped out of the window. 5 mins later he came back and ordered another one. Drunk it and jumped out of the window again. 7 mins later he came back again. And sit to the bar. Another man saw this and walked over to the man with the long hair and said: "Why are you doing this? Is this a kick and makes the alcohol taste better?", "For shure, Wanna try it togehter?" the man with the long hair said. "Ok". The two ordered vodka, drunk and jumped out of the window. 6 minuites later the man with the long hair comes back alone and sat to the bar. The barkeeper looked at him and said: "You are so an as**** when you are drunk, Jesus!"
:D
bad joke I know ;)
a duck walks into a drugstore...he says I'd like some lipgloss, the cashier says sure thing, will that be cash or check, the duck says put it on my bill.
/I'm here all week, new show starts at 11.
Will you have the guy who quotes himself opening for you again at the 11 o'clock show?
Quote:
Originally posted by Joe Nellis
Will you have the guy who quotes himself opening for you again at the 11 o'clock show?
Quote:
who?
Dammit I thought everyone was enjoying my bad jokes. :PQuote:
Originally posted by ats007spdou
Unless I didn't get the joke completely, I wouldn't say that's too bad, Deniz is farrrr worse than you are :D .
Mick: I dare you to create a TASTELESS JOKES thread! :D
I promised to be a kinder gentler Mick...and I can't break a promise now can I...Quote:
Originally posted by Deniz
Mick: I dare you to create a TASTELESS JOKES thread! :D
Quote:
Originally posted by Mick
I promised to be a kinder gentler Mick...and I can't break a promise now can I...
Just wait for Mick's 1000 points of light campaign.....
"This country must be peopled by the people! America can't survive pitted old against rich or poor against against young. Remember, when there are less jobs, unemployment results. Furthermore, George W. Bush is just the man to turn this country around a full 360 degrees. "
Quote:
Originally posted by Mick
I promised to be a kinder gentler Mick...and I can't break a promise now can I...
*cough* wuss *cough* :p
Tom: Keep dreaming pal...
I was referring to NoHero, the guy who posted right before you. He quotes himself in his sig. How can you top that.Quote:
Originally posted by Mick quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Joe Nellis
Will you have the guy who quotes himself opening for you again at the 11 o'clock show?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
who?
Quote:
"See, one of the interesting things in the Oval Office — I love to bring people into the Oval Office — right around the corner from here — and say, this is where I office, but I want you to know the office is always bigger than the person." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004
no one can top this :D ;) (just kidding)
p.s.: I have a name, and you can use it without regreting it ;) ...
Quote:
Originally posted by Tom Frohman
Just wait for Mick's 1000 points of light campaign.....
"This country must be peopled by the people! America can't survive pitted old against rich or poor against against young. Remember, when there are less jobs, unemployment results. Furthermore, George W. Bush is just the man to turn this country around a full 360 degrees. "
better to do a full 360, then go 180 forward then 180 in reverse...
Florian, what does Stinglmayr mean in German, my last name is Shvets, in Ukrainian, it means shoemaker.
Stinglmayr?! Sry I don't know ... This name is so old (yes it is very old) I can't say if it has a meaning. But I guess it has a russan touch because you write this "Meier" with "ayr". And thats very rare ...
Shoemaker?! "Schuhmacher" ... You have the "same" name as the famous F1 driver ;)
Well I am quick if I don't say so myself(quick at inhaling Curry Wurst in 56.7 seconds, mmmmmm...... Wurst mit Pommes).Quote:
Originally posted by NoHero
Shoemaker?! "Schuhmacher" ... You have the "same" name as the famous F1 driver :)
P.S.: And the same as the comet that pummeled Jupiter(TAKE THAT YOU GAS GIANT!!!).
Pommes??Quote:
Originally posted by ats007spdou
Wurst mit Pommes).
Kartoffeln?
There goes the neighbourhood... :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally posted by Tom Frohman
Pommes??
Kartoffeln?
my last name means "man whos last name means last name" that or street walker...I'm kinda going with the first though..darn ancestors...
Hmm, let me guess....Quote:
Originally posted by Mick
my last name means "man whos last name means last name" that or street walker...I'm kinda going with the first though..darn ancestors...
Your real name is Latka Gravas!
Not quite as bad as a friend of mine who is called Dosser which in British slang means Bum ;)
In Belurussian it means the same :)Quote:
...my last name is Shvets, in Ukrainian, it means shoemaker.
rice??Quote:
Originally posted by ats007spdou
(quick at inhaling Curry Wurst in 56.7 seconds, mmmmmm...... Wurst mit Pommes).
another question: does your nick ats007spdou mean something??
A Tasteless Joke:
1) I had a dog without a nose.
2) How did it smell?
1) Terrible!
***************************************
Variation:
Reindeer: Santa we've had it with the working conditions! We Reindeer are revolting!
Santa: You can say that again.
****************************************
A Punchline Without a Joke:
And the chief says "death by boogaloo".
(As all men already know this joke, telling it would be redundant.)
I always knew it as poodoo... I suppose though, in person, one would not be focusing on the name, as there would be more pressing issues :cool::p.Quote:
Originally posted by Tom Frohman
A Punchline Without a Joke:
And the chief says "death by boogaloo".
(As all men already know this joke, telling it would be redundant.)
Wait... you're human???Quote:
Originally posted by Mick
my last name means "man whos last name means last name" that or street walker...I'm kinda going with the first though..darn ancestors...
Hehehe, most likely.Quote:
Originally posted by Tom Frohman
Hmm, let me guess....
Your real name is Latka Gravas!
Ewww..... that's only good with chicken.Quote:
Originally posted by NoHero
rice??
Yes, ats is my initials, and 007 is from James Bond. I have a license to kill, so watch out. The rest I won't say, because it's stupid/embarassingQuote:
Originally posted by NoHero
another question: does your nick ats007spdou mean something??
Zdrastvuytye, Tovarisch!!!Quote:
Originally posted by dimm_coder
In Belurussian it means the same :)
Well, that's in russian.Quote:
Zdrastvuytye, Tovarisch!!!
The same in Belurassian is
"Dobri dzen' spadar"
(of course, U'll not be able to get the right prononciation :))
asd - is Alexey Timopheevich Sidorov. Yes, he's a spy from KGB.
Good work, Yves, good work tovarisch colonel :D
Sorry, I don't know belorussian, just Ukrainian(better than russian) and russian.Quote:
Originally posted by dimm_coder
Well, that's in russian.
Hmmmmm...... I think you'll be going on a "trip" to Siberia very soon :) :) :) :) :)Quote:
Originally posted by dimm_coder
asd - is Alexey Timopheevich Sidorov. Yes, he's a spy from KGB.
P.S.:I have no idea who this spy character is, never heard of him.
@ats007spdou: come on tell me what the last letters mean, I want to know ... If it is so stupid write me a pm ;) ... But I want to know ... plz *begging*!
Does it mean U are originaly from the Ukrain?Quote:
Originally posted by ats007spdou
Sorry, I don't know belorussian, just Ukrainian(better than russian) and russian.
I have no idea too :DQuote:
P.S.:I have no idea who this spy character is, never heard of him.
Well I was born there in '83 in the city of Ternopil. It's a city 100 kilometers east of L'viv(it's written as L'viv not L'vov or L'wow, the last 2 are written in russian, not Ukrainian, hence it's INCORRECT). So as a result I have a pretty good grasp on Slavic languages. But I think after living in the US for 12 years, my English has improved by such a great factor that my main language at the moment is English.Quote:
Originally posted by dimm_coder
Does it mean U are originaly from the Ukrain?
:rolleyes:Quote:
Originally posted by dimm_coder
I have no idea too :D
Yeh, I know about Ternopil and L'viv.Quote:
Originally posted by ats007spdou
Well I was born there in '83 in the city of Ternopil. It's a city 100 kilometers east of L'viv(it's written as L'viv not L'vov or L'wow, the last 2 are written in russian, not Ukrainian, hence it's INCORRECT). So as a result I have a pretty good grasp on Slavic languages. But I think after living in the US for 12 years, my English has improved by such a great factor that my main language at the moment is English.
:rolleyes:
L'viv and L'vov has recalled a funny story..
"Ukrainec zahodit v avtobus s Kalashnikovim. Vskakivaet negr v strahe. Ukrainec emu: Sidi sinky I bachu shto ti ne moskal' " :D
LOL Pravda, Pravda, Moskwa dowgo nass priniszhuvala. Ya nemayu nichoho proti ruskih, ale meni nepodobayetsya Putin i yogo tovarishi(there will be dark days ahead if he gets too much power).
Geta tak. U nas velmi shmat padobnaga u history (Belarus and Ukrain). Russia zausedi mela imperskia ambicii. Ale j u nas z nashim Lukashenko - is the total *** :(Quote:
Originally posted by ats007spdou
LOL Pravda, Pravda, Moskwa dowgo nass priniszhuvala. Ya nemayu nichoho proti ruskih, ale meni nepodobayetsya Putin i yogo tovarishi(there will be dark days ahead if he gets too much power).
Ok, Let's hope for the bettre future of our countries ... and for our's personal .. here or in some other place :)
Let's just hope that Putin doesn't get too excited about expansion, then Belarus and Ukraine will have a chance of living. Oh yeh, Kuchma(the ukrainian president) has the ideal qualifications for beeing a gulag operator for Stalin(I wish nothing good for that *******).
Okay here's something I've been wondering about for a while. What exactly is the correct pronunciation of Moscow? Is it as in "the cow says moo" or as in "co-dependent" or neither?
Thanks
In russian it's Moskva, both 'o' and 'a' are pronounced as 'a' as you would say 'a' in car. Are you learning russian or planning to go there? If you're planning to go there, hire 4 russian bodyguards with AK-47s(trust me, you won't regret it, I have read plenty of magazines where foreign businessmen go to russia and the first thing they do is no taste the local vodka, it's getting protection :D ). Either that, or you could get a really cute honey to replace your wife :D (but than again, I'm not in a position to make that statement, so I'll just have a nice cup of "shut the fark up") :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave:
Des schvun de birdie bork bork de boon de boon de boon bork bork.Quote:
Originally posted by dimm_coder
Geta tak. U nas velmi shmat padobnaga u history (Belarus and Ukrain). Russia zausedi mela imperskia ambicii. Ale j u nas z nashim Lukashenko - is the total *** :(
)
You said it buddy...Quote:
Originally posted by Tom Frohman
Des schvun de birdie bork bork de boon de boon de boon bork bork.