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A man hails down a taxi and tells the driver to take him to the nearest hotel.
On the way there the passenger changes his mind and taps the driver on the shoulder...
The driver screams bloody-murder, swerves on the road and almost crashes into a lamp-post...
The passenger says "Man, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that."
The driver responds "Oh, no, it's perfectly alright sir. You see, it's just that this is my first day as a taxi driver after operating a hearse for the past 35 years."
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A sergent, a Colonel, a Aunt and her niece was waiting in a bus stop. A little while later the sergent started to flirt with the neice. After a while the bus came and all the four got onto the bus. The Colonel and sergent sat on the seat behind that of Aunty and niece. Both Col. and Aunty was sitting next to the window. The flirting continued and were going a bit out of limits. Thats when the bus entered a tunnel. Then there was a sound of a smooch and a slap. When the bus came out of it everybody was sitting straight as if nothing happened. This is what each one of them thought:
Aunty: I knew that the sergent liked my niece, he kissed her. She slapped him back.
Niece: Yea...I know that the sergent liked me and he kissed me. Aunty didn't seemed to like it. So she must have slapped him.
Col.: Hmm...the sergent liked the girl. He kissed her. Her aunty's face seemed she didn't liked it. So she slapped him. He must have ducked. So I got it.
Srgt: WOW...it was one of my best days in life. I kissed a girl and slapped the Colonel
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I received this one some time ago. I still keep it in my mailbox ...
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ........ and stay for breakfast.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings.
The guy is amazed!! Everything had been SO incredible!!!! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she replies........."
"You just happened to catch my eye."
Elrond A chess genius is a human being who focuses vast, little-understood mental gifts and labors on an ultimately trivial human enterprise.
-- George Steiner
Get this small utility to do basic syntax highlighting in vBulletin forums (like Codeguru) easily.
Supports C++ and VB out of the box, but can be configured for other languages.
I'll need a teleportation machine in order to get my arse to Austria in a jiffy and back .
going by train to wels from regensburg will take at least 1 hour, and back 1 hour again. having a good cold beer will also take an hour. do you have 3 hours for me???
going by train to wels from regensburg will take at least 1 hour, and back 1 hour again. having a good cold beer will also take an hour. do you have 3 hours for me???
Yes, but I'll be in the states by then and I'm not aware of an ultra-high-speed train that goes under the ocean from the North East to Austria .
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Originally Posted by Mick
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(not to say that our federal government is as skinny as a stick 
.)
