After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no recommendation and that the Company is not doing anything about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying;
My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So , what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3 (one third))
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days,
how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager: - Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
HR=HIGH RISK
/** The only stupid question is the one you never ask. */
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no recommendation and that the Company is not doing anything about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying;
My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So , what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3 (one third))
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days,
how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager: - Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.
A junior Software engineer, a senior Software engineer and their PM
are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come
across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost
says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I
will allow one wish each".
So the eager Junior Software engineer shouted, I want the first wish. I
want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff
and he was gone.
Now the Senior Software engineer could not keep quiet and shouted " I
want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.
"Pfufffff and he was also gone.
The PM calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the office after
lunch at 1.30pm"
Moral of the story is: Always allow the bosses to speak first"
Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up
Johnny wanted to screw a girl in his office… but she
belonged to someone else...
One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said:
" I'll give you a $1000 dollars if you let me screw you...."
But the girl said NO.
Johnny said " I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on
the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished by the time
you pick it up."
She thought for a moment and said that she would have
to consult her boyfriend.....
So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says "Ask him for $2000 dollars, pick up
the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his
pants down."
So she agrees and accepts the proposal.
Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for
his girlfriend to call.
Finally after 45 mins the boyfriend calls and asks
what happened......
She said "The ******* used coins!!!"
Management lesson:
Always consider a business proposal in it's entirety
before agreeing to it and getting screwed.
Let me translate this one for you: on the top, with pink paint, it reads: "Spring of Happiness". On the wooden tag it reads "Out of Service". Seems that the spring was depleted. The world must be already full of joy and happiness.
That's incredible... I just realize that the title of this thread is "ahh, A joke(Let's share Jokes)" and not "0xAAA, A joke..." as I always thought... Though, I didn't understand well why there were this hex number in front of the title... I had seen that as a subtle reference to the AAA x86 assembly instruction.
Excuse me for the off-topic post.
"inherit to be reused by code that uses the base class, not to reuse base class code", Sutter and Alexandrescu, C++ Coding Standards.
Club of lovers of the C++ typecasts cute syntax: Only recorded member.
Out of memory happens! Handle it properly!
Say no to g_new()!
That's incredible... I just realize that the title of this thread is "ahh, A joke(Let's share Jokes)" and not "0xAAA, A joke..." as I always thought... Though, I didn't understand well why there were this hex number in front of the title... I had seen that as a subtle reference to the AAA x86 assembly instruction.
Excuse me for the off-topic post.
....
- Sreehari
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
" Everybody is sent to Earth on a purpose. I am so Lagging behind that i won't die." – Calvin
http://www.codeguru.com/forum/showthread.php?t=395976[/url] ]
If size were to say the size in bytes - what would it be? The sum of sizes of each members or the size which is related to capacity or the actual size in memory?
English is a funny language.. make yourself acquainted to such things (terms) or else you will find yourself complaining at English language itself .. leave alone size() in C++...
A is an unspecified value, no greater than Alpha.
Alpha is an implementation-defined value that shall be positive or equal to zero and doesn't depend of the instance of std::set nor of the type T.
C is an unspecified value that shall be smaller than Gamma.
Gamma is an implementation-defined value that does not depend on the instance of std::set nor of the type T.
B(T) = max(E, sizeof(T)*F)+G
E is an implementation-defined value, independent of type T and of the set.
F is an unspecified value that shall not be strictly greater than 2.
G is an implementation-defined value that doesn't depend on T or the set.
A C D E F G can be non-integer values, but all the implementation-defined values described above shall be integer values, and the resulting size() returned value shall be an integer value.
The mechanism by which a floating point value is converted to an integer value shall be achieved through an implementation-defined combination of one or more of the following mechanisms:
The resulting floating-point value of the full calculus is rounded through an implementation-defined mechanism to an integer such as |integer-float| < 1.0
At the exact point where the floating point value is multiplied by an integer value, the resulting value is rounded down to the greatest integer not greater than the floating point.
All these values shall not be complex values.
None of these values shall be strictly negative except A, and only in cases where the resulting size() before the application of the rounding #1 (in the case where the implementation systematically applies this rounding, but not in cases where the implementation doesn't apply this rounding, or does not do it inconditionally) is greater or equal to 1.
size() shall returns a strictly positive integer value.
If one of A, C, D, E or F is zero, the implementation should document when these values are equal to zero, and in particular if one of them is inconditionally equal to zero.
The accuracy of the floating point calculus is unspecified but the implementation shall document the minimum precision for each individual operation (multiplication, addition or log_in_base_two).
"inherit to be reused by code that uses the base class, not to reuse base class code", Sutter and Alexandrescu, C++ Coding Standards.
Club of lovers of the C++ typecasts cute syntax: Only recorded member.
Out of memory happens! Handle it properly!
Say no to g_new()!
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
-Albert Einstein
* The Best Reasons to Target Windows 8
Learn some of the best reasons why you should seriously consider bringing your Android mobile development expertise to bear on the Windows 8 platform.
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Originally Posted by Sarevok
Marius Bancila
....
