Spider Man.............No More!

[Sarevok]

Congratulations Ejaz
So, how did you 2 meet?

[sreehari]

Congratulations Ejaz

[Shuja Ali]

Hearty Congratulations.

[cilu]

Well, the credit goes to my family, my role in this was just that kid, which sit besides the net in the tennis match, to pick the loose shot and watch the ball bouching in the courts.

Well, not now, I met her for the first time last night, had nice converstation with her, but she isn't into programming (thanx god, only one crazy person should be in a house, and I do fill the seat very well), so for sometime, I'll be on safe grounds, and then I'll tell her myself all this. I wish she never goes through all the **** I've been posting in the past, that may cause some serious explainations

Let me see if I understand: you met your fiancee last night for the first time in your life and your parents fixed everything and you just watched? So, what are your feelings about her? I'm wondering how can you live with someone you just met? What if you don't like her? I mean, ok, the first impression could have been great, but in time you discover things about her that will make your life with her hard to live, or perhaps impossible. Then what? Sorry for asking all these questions, but I'm not sure I can understand this practice.

[sreehari]

Let me see if I understand: you met your fiancee last night for the first time in your life and your parents fixed everything and you just watched? So, what are your feelings about her? I'm wondering how can you live with someone you just met? What if you don't like her? I mean, ok, the first impression could have been great, but in time you discover things about her that will make your life with her hard to live, or perhaps impossible. Then what? Sorry for asking all these questions, but I'm not sure I can understand this practice.

Well Cilu thats the way it happens here in most of the Asian countries, atleast for the south asian countries, like india, pakisthan srilanka ... well it used to happen like this in earlier days, now a days , ppl are changing , ppl seem to find their own partners , leaving the earlier generation in a Fix leading to disagreements n all...

And in case of Ejaz guess his parents got tired of waiting for him to find someone for him self
Err or could it be that they came to know about Kalinka ??

[MrBeans]

Congrats Ejaz So Ejaz's has gone to deep sleep I guess with sweet dreams

[cilu]

Well Cilu thats the way it happens here in most of the Asian countries, atleast for the south asian countries, like india, pakisthan srilanka ... well it used to happen like this in earlier days, now a days , ppl are changing , ppl seem to find their own partners , leaving the earlier generation in a Fix leading to disagreements n all...

And can someone refuse to do that, marry someone the parents had chosen?

[Hobson]

It's not too late to run yet! / Congratulations Ejaz! *

* Please pick one

[Siddhartha]

Let me see if I understand: you met your fiancee last night for the first time in your life and your parents fixed everything and you just watched? So, what are your feelings about her? I'm wondering how can you live with someone you just met? What if you don't like her?.

You are right in thinking the way you did - because of your European upbringing.

However, like Sreehari has pointed out - Parents arranging matches is common in Asian cultures.

I mean, ok, the first impression could have been great, but in time you discover things about her that will make your life with her hard to live, or perhaps impossible. Then what? Sorry for asking all these questions, but I'm not sure I can understand this practice

This is nothing typical to arranged marriages, BTW.

If one looks at marriages in Germany, around 50% of them are already broken up by the time they are in the 3rd year. So, people making their decisions for themselves doesn't really imply that they are good at it.

Marriages in Asia for instance have a much higher success rate. Of course, this has more factors than just the satisfaction of the couples in question - like family values, etc - but, even if one looks at plain numbers, stuff seems to work better in that system. Also one must not forget that Parents know their children very well, and in societies where family values are of essence, they all want their children to get married to someone who is intellectually, monetarily and culturally fitting. This results in a high level of compatibility in the match making process.

[Siddhartha]

And can someone refuse to do that, marry someone the parents had chosen?

Typically, the parents choose and the bride / groom consents.

If the bride or the groom are not in consent, typically the match would not be made.

[Sahir]

Congratulations, Ejaz.

[sreehari]

And can someone refuse to do that, marry someone the parents had chosen?

its not that the parents alone choose a girl/guy and you marry just blind folded, its more like , first the parents choose a girl, and then the guy/girl sees the others photo( and many a times also meet the counterpart) and then if they both feel okey then the engagement is done , ( tho there are a few more things that are done , they are religious/superstitious rather like matching horoscopes n all ) ya so the refusin to marry is always an option , and generally is not a problem unless one says that he/she has someone else in mind.

[sreehari]

You are right in thinking the way you did - because of your European upbringing.

However, like Sreehari has pointed out - Parents arranging matches is common in Asian cultures.This is nothing typical to arranged marriages, BTW.

If one looks at marriages in Germany, around 50% of them are already broken up by the time they are in the 3rd year. So, people making their decisions for themselves doesn't really imply that they are good at it.

Marriages in Asia for instance have a much higher success rate. Of course, this has more factors than just the satisfaction of the couples in question - like family values, etc - but, even if one looks at plain numbers, stuff seems to work better in that system. Also one must not forget that Parents know their children very well, and in societies where family values are of essence, they all want their children to get married to someone who is intellectually, monetarily and culturally fitting. This results in a high level of compatibility in the match making process.

Never could have put it in a better way

[Shuja Ali]

@Sid: You should have been a Lecturer/Professor somewhere.

But truly speaking arranged marriages work out better compared to love marriages. Others opinions might differ, but this is what I have seen happening with atleast the people I know.

[Siddhartha]

Thanks, guys... Yes, yes... Arranged Marriages and relationships are pet topics for me as many of my friends out here keep querying me on how stuff can work in such an environment.

I personally find arranged marriage system perplexing too - but, it works so well that it's just to be seen to be believed. All friends of mine who got married this way are happily settled (just the same way as those who found their partners themselves are too).

Another big advantage of this system is that people who haven't found a partner for whatever reason find a suitable one via a channel accepted by the society. This channel is a lot better than the "blind date" system followed in western cultures, or in the "dating agencies" prevalent here, and also better than online dating as people look at prospective partners in a small cross-section of "available resources" that fit their language, culture, education and monetary requirements to a T.