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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Portsmouth. United Kingdom
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    2,727

    Talking Programming joke

    Here's one i heard a long time ago.

    A manager, hardware engineer and software engineer are in a car travelling across a twisty mountain road. Suddenly the car inexplicably swerves from side to side only stopping just before the car plunges into the ravine.

    Manager:
    "Let's call out the recovery services and get it to a workshop".

    Hardware engineer:
    "Let's see if we if we can fix it ourselves".

    Software engineer:
    "Let's drive further down the road and see if it happens again".
    "It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are. If it doesn't agree with experiment, it's wrong."
    Richard P. Feynman

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    116

    Re: Programming joke

    Yeah I had a other too.

    < However I don't sure that I remember exactly >

    Oneday a little children asks his father " How were I born ? ".
    The father said that " Your mother and me are connecting by usb, I have sent her some data, but we don't install any antivirus program, your mama also don't turn on her firewall, althought we has tried to format and clean anything I can, After 9 months and 10 days you were born"

    Sorry for my poor language Hope you understand what I mean.
    My English is very bad. So tell me if Something I talked make u confuse.
    My Ebook Store: www.coding.vn/book.php

  3. #3
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    Mar 2008
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    Re: Programming joke

    a programmer was near to drown in the sea; suddenly he screamed F1, F1... F1
    Last edited by toraj58; December 12th, 2008 at 03:29 PM.
    Please rate my post if it was helpful for you.
    Java, C#, C++, PHP, ASP.NET
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    [toraj_e] [at] [yahoo] [dot] [com]

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    St. Petersburg, Florida, USA
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    12,117

    Re: Programming joke

    Quote Originally Posted by toraj58 View Post
    i programmer was near to drown in the sea; suddenly he screamed F1, F1... F1
    I found him as he washed ashore....Tryied to CTRL-ALT-DEL, but he stayed Blue (screen of) Death....
    TheCPUWizard is a registered trademark, all rights reserved. (If this post was helpful, please RATE it!)
    2008, 2009,2010
    In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; in practice there is.

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  5. #5
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    Mar 2008
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    Re: Programming joke

    two stuffs from MicroSoft bought no ticket for traveling with train.
    two stuffs from Oracle bought just one.
    and two stuff from SUN also bought just one.

    all of them entrained.

    during the checking of the tickets both guys from Oracle went to a single WC and when the cop knocked the door and asked for ticket they give him the only one they had.

    when guys from sun went into WC then Microsoft guys knocked the door and said ticket please and those guys from SUN gave them the ticket then they came out from the WC and MicroSoft guys entred and real COP came and knocked the door and they gave him the only ticket have gaind from from SUN.....

    Result:

    1- SUN guys arrested
    2- Two Oracle guys traveled with one ticket
    3- MicroSoft guys traveled with NO ticket!!!

    who is smarter? maybe: COP )
    Last edited by toraj58; December 12th, 2008 at 03:46 PM.
    Please rate my post if it was helpful for you.
    Java, C#, C++, PHP, ASP.NET
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    Touraj Ebrahimi
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  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    9

    Re: Programming joke

    A man goes into a pet store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy a C monkey, please." The clerk whistles, and a monkey jumps onto the counter with a $100 price tag hanging around his neck.

    "This is your average C monkey." the clerk says. "He writes very short, fast code."

    The man thinks, looks around, and says "What about that monkey over there? How come he's got a $200 price tag?"

    "Well," says the clerk, "That monkey can program in C, C++, and Python."

    "Oh," says the man, "Maybe I should get that one in stead."

    Then the man spots yet another monkey and exclaims "Wow! That monkey is $1000! What does he do?" To which the clerk replies "Well, I haven't seen him do anything yet, but he says he's a consultant."

  7. #7
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    Re: Programming joke

    lol.....very funny
    Please rate my post if it was helpful for you.
    Java, C#, C++, PHP, ASP.NET
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    Touraj Ebrahimi
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  8. #8
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    Mar 2008
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    Re: Programming joke

    someday a programmer recieve a package that on it was written: Caution! Don't cut you hand; it is Sharp

    then programmer open the package to see what is in it; guess what was in it!!!!
    Please rate my post if it was helpful for you.
    Java, C#, C++, PHP, ASP.NET
    SQL Server, MySQL
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    MATH
    Touraj Ebrahimi
    [toraj_e] [at] [yahoo] [dot] [com]

  9. #9
    Join Date
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    Re: Programming joke

    one day a C++ programmer and a JAVA programmer were wandering in the jungle and suddenly a Python bite one of them!
    Please rate my post if it was helpful for you.
    Java, C#, C++, PHP, ASP.NET
    SQL Server, MySQL
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    Touraj Ebrahimi
    [toraj_e] [at] [yahoo] [dot] [com]

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    112

    Re: Programming joke

    I don't have a joke.
    But I know when the prey are online
    Site managers all have jokes to tell.
    I am telling everyone a joke.
    I know now how the joke turns
    Into real stories.
    I know also how happy I am.
    You too.
    hi,,,

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    California
    Posts
    136

    Re: Programming joke

    Heheh, thanks for the jokes, I got a good laugh while eating my breakfast ... =)

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    15

    Re: Programming joke

    I bought my computer at $2000 2 years ago. Now he is completly down, and I can not dump him, because there is no place for me to throw him in. The only way I can do is to undress him completely. And I see....his CPU, all the veins around the boardie, looks so really cute. I can see his fan, his slots of memory. I don't deny the fact that I can touch his CPU too.
    A strange thing, when I just power off the computer, I put my fingers around the CPU and I feel titatetuto. What a nice little electriccal shock it offers me darn good!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    California
    Posts
    136

    Re: Programming joke

    Quote Originally Posted by Marie Mih View Post
    I bought my computer at $2000 2 years ago. Now he is completly down, and I can not dump him, because there is no place for me to throw him in. The only way I can do is to undress him completely. And I see....his CPU, all the veins around the boardie, looks so really cute. I can see his fan, his slots of memory. I don't deny the fact that I can touch his CPU too.
    A strange thing, when I just power off the computer, I put my fingers around the CPU and I feel titatetuto. What a nice little electriccal shock it offers me darn good!
    I am not quite sure what exactly this joke means, but it doesn't seem to be "safe for work!" =p

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Italy
    Posts
    156

    Re: Programming joke

    The wife of a programmer to his husband:
    Darling,
    I'm starting to get a little worried about your work; you work too much...
    you spend more time with your CPU than with me... You program too much...
    Her husband answers, to calm her:
    Code:
    !Honey; 
    if(you.IsThinking(this)) !Worry;
    CLove* myself = new CLove;   //I love you darling
    while(world.DoExist()) 
    {
         myself->m_bLoveForYou++;
         if(!myself->IsTrue())
         {
              delete myself;
              _exit(-1);
         }
    }
    - Buzzyous -

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Craiova, Romania
    Posts
    326

    Re: Programming joke


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