Let's resurrect this thread. (Warning: Pun's ahead)

It was a hot summer day, and Luke was in the marina, having a few beers aboard his boat, patriotically named the "Fourth of July." He was waiting for his friend, Opie, to arrive so they could go for a cruise.
Unfortunately, Opie was late. He had to pick up his wife from her appointment with the obstetrician. They were able to save money on her examinations because the doctor, a fellow named Juan, was Opie's cousin. Anyway, the appointment took longer than expected, and Opie was late getting to the marina.
Luke had been drinking all this time, and was feeling no pain. When he saw Opie finally walking down the pier, he jumped up, staggered to the side of the boat to wave to his friend, and nearly fell in! Opie got there just in time to grab Luke.
Thus, it was that O.B. Juan's kin, Opie, saved Luke from falling to the dock side of the Fourth.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.