Apologies to those from the mentioned nations if this offends.


>>France Elevates its Security Level
>>
>>As many are aware, the French government recently announced a raise in

>>its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is
>>"General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in France are
>>"Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent
>>fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
>>paralysing the country's military capability.
>>
>>It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert:
>>Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly"
>>to "Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain,
>>"Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides".
>>
>>The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress
>>in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher
>>levels: "Invade a neighbour" and "Lose".
>>
>>Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone
>>from "Isolationism" to "Find another oil-rich nation for regime
>>change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack random
>>countries (ideally those without any credible military)"
>>and "Beg the British for help".
>>
>>The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings
>>and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon
>>though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even

>>"A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz
>>in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been
>>re-categorized from "Tiresome"
>>to "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody
>>Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of 1666.