Quote Originally Posted by mrRee
of course I aware of that...thanks for reminding me...
what I meant was, maybe I'm not doing good enough in repentance...
I think you're heart is in the right place.

I don't think there is a single Christian in the world who thinks "I'm doing great, I'm a great Christian".

Even the apostle Paul often mentioned in his letters what a sinful man he was at heart. Did this mean Paul was a bad man? No, it meant that he was aware of his sinful side. All of us have a sinful side, its a fact of life.

Recognising our sinful desires is the first step, turning our back on the sinful desires is the next step. Ask Jesus for help, trust me he will help you change, he is in the business of changing people. None of us can become the sort of person God wants us to be on our own. Prayer is the vital key. Reading the Bible is also important but the Bible can be a trap if you try to chew on the meat before growing with the milk. Debatable doctrinal points are a stumbling block for many. For example, reading into the book of Revelation or the first 12 chapters of the book of Genesis is probably not the best place to start reading. A better option would be reading the 4 Gospels and then something along the lines of Ephesians and maybe even Romans after that if you're up for it.

Reading some good books, finding a good Bible teaching Church where you can find someone to help you grow, these are also important.

Ultimately its up to you.

PS: Rigel you are right, we only get the one shot. Another thing I hear is a 'planned repentance' i.e. planning to repent on your death bed or when we get older is not a good idea (in my opinion) because who's to say our pride & arrogance won't stop us at that crucial moment?