AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

[chmanish]

FYI:
Mukesh and Anil Ambani are brothers and jointly own (now separate) Reliance gropu of industry. This group also has Reliance infoComm, a mobile service provider, which allows free call from one subsriber to another. Tina, ex-bollywood star is Anil's wife.

[exterminator]

FYI:
Mukesh and Anil Ambani are brothers and jointly own (now separate) Reliance gropu of industry.

The joke and the detailed explanation (not necessarily) must be removed.. Could be considered un-ethical. Regards.

Here is one for you guys about our old Santa and Banta:

Santa and Banta Singh were both in a mental hospital. Once they were walking past a swimming pool, Santa suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there. Banta promptly jumped in to save him. He swam to the bottom and pulled Santa out.

When the medical director became aware of Banta's heroic act, he immediately ordered him to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered him to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Banta the news, he said, Banta, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Santa, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead. Banta replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry."

[Mathew Joy]

The joke and the detailed explanation (not necessarily) must be removed.. Could be considered un-ethical. Regards.

I think it must be OK. We have jokes about Clinton, Bush and Monica doing a worse thing.

[cilu]

Funny joke. Though I did not understand who was Banta.

[exterminator]

Funny joke. Though I did not understand who was Banta.

Santa and Banta are two very close friends. You can find more about them here - Santa and Banta. They are now a brand in the jokes community, very popular ficticious characters in Indian Jokes.

[cilu]

Yes, it is. I suggest to remove the above post.

[sunnypalsingh]

Humor in C about software professionals abroad.

struct Indian_ Bachelor _ software_ professional

{

double standards; 

short sighted; 

long time _ between visits_ to_ Indian; 

float horoscope; 

void girlfriend; 

chart desperate; 

};

struct Married_ Indian_ Software_ Professional

{

double trouble ; 

short charged;

long sighs;

float hopes;

void independence;

char philosophical;

 }

struct Indian _Engaged _software _professional

{

 double time _at _work; 

/ / to get long vacation to India short attention _ span ;

long phone _calls _to _Indian;

float on _cloud _nine;

void bank _balance; char edgy;

}

struct Indian _Newly _Married _software _professional

{

double dinner _invitations; 

short time _at _work;

long lunch _breaks;

float wife _resumes;

void bank _balance;

char hen _pecked;

}

[olivthill]

lol
double bravo

[Pinky98]

Ok, you have to have done first year chem or physics for this one.
(I doubt the validity of the story but it makes for good reading)

Boyle's Law
-------------
This is forwarded from a graduate of the U. of Oklahoma Chemical Engineering Dept., citing one of Dr. Schlambaugh's final test questions for his final exam of 1997.Dr. Schlambaugh is known for asking questions on his finals like: "Why do airplanes fly?" In May 1997, the "Momentum, Heat, and Mass Transfer II" final exam question was: "Is H e l l exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however wrote the following:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into H e l l and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to H e l l , it does not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering H e l l , let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to H e l l . Since there are more than one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to H e l l . With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of souls in H e l l to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in the volume of H e l l . Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in H e l l to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.
[Al] So, if H e l l is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter H e l l , then the temperature and pressure in H e l l will increase until all H e l l breaks loose.
[A2] Of course, if H e l l is expanding at a rate faster than the increase in souls in H e l l , then the temperature and pressure will drop until H e l l freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa Banyan during freshman year, that 'It'll be a cold day in H e l l before I sleep with you,' and taking into account that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then [A2] cannot be true; thus, H e l l is exothermic.

The student got the only A.

[sunnypalsingh]

It was really difficult to absorb

[cilu]

I heard that story about one year ago. I am reluctant to consider it true, but I would like to believe it is so. Anyway, it's quite funny.

[sunnypalsingh]

Check Out This

[Shuja Ali]

But he is not carrying the Paper, he is carrying some bags. Right?

[Satishpp]

As scientists and concerned citizens, we applaud the recent trend towards
legislation which requires the prominent placing of warnings on products
that present hazards to the general public. Yet we must also offer the
cautionary thought that such warnings, however well-intentioned, merely
scratch the surface of what is really necessary in this important area.
This is especially true in light of the findings of 20th century physics.

We are therefore proposing that, as responsible scientists, we join
together in an intensive push for new laws that will mandate the
conspicuous placement of suitably informative warnings on the packaging of
every product offered for sale in the United States of America. Our
suggested list of warnings appears below.

WARNING: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.

WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe,
Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to
the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between
Them.

CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85
Million
Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.

HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged
Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles Per
Hour.

CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," It Is Impossible
for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This
Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving. (Note: This one is optional on the
grounds that Heisenburg was never quite sure that his principle was
correct)

ADVISORY: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a
Process Know as "Tunneling," This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from
Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe,
Including Your Neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible
for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.

READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to Certain Suggested Versions of
the Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting this Product
May
Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years.

THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT: In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise
Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result.

PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner
Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although
No
Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will
Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe.

NOTE: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Product Are Held Together by a
"Gluing" Force About Which Little is Currently Known and Whose Adhesive
Power
Can Therefore Not Be Permanently Guaranteed.

ATTENTION: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the
Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of
99.9999999999% Empty Space.

NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER: The Manufacturer May Technically Be
Entitled to Claim That This Product Is Ten-Dimensional. However, the
Consumer
Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those
Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are
"Rolled Up" into Such a Small "Area" That They Cannot Be Detected.

PLEASE NOTE: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is
Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist
Only
in a Vague and Undetermined State.

COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons,
etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable
Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim
to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.

HEALTH WARNING: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its
Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the
User.

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The Entire Physical Universe, Including
This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small
Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of
This Product in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed.

-Satish

[olivthill]

Yes, they may be bags which contained lists of bug. It's very funny anyway.
Sometimes, employees at Microsoft, who are reading lists of bugs, need a drink.