AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

[cherish]

Don't know myself, may be a Christmass gift for me...

Maybe they're just giving you a *hint*??

A typical female thingy (too much observation)

Ay yay-yay, yay-yay. Why do you always like to blame it on my gender?

Chill out babe, I do find it funny Just haven't have the morning tea so far and still feeling little sleepy

I am chilling out, what makes you think otherwise? Oh, yeah.. better get yourself a tea or something to wake you up, Mr-Ejaz-who-likes-girls-in-devil-red-lipsticks-and-other-things-in-red.

// Okay. I better stop now. I'll post another joke some other time.

[NatThoelecke]

money is the root of all problems...you are assuming it to be a square root

It's been a while since I had a math course but I seem to recall that "root" by itself in a word problem always referred to the sqaure root. Any other root power would be referred to specifically (third or cube, fourth, fifth, etc.). So by the wording a would sya the assumption of a square root is accurate and logical.

Okay enough of my being literal here's a few things we can all learn from movies.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

There will always be a doctor in a plane or building with the right medical supplies.

These may have been posted before but it's too long of a thread to try to verify. My apologies if I am repeating someone's post.

[sunnypalsingh]

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone.

However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer.

"That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"

[Satishpp]

There's 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde. Their all at the NASA space center. The redhead says to the flight technician "I want to go to the moon". The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says "I want to go to Mars". He says she can go next week. The blonde says "I want to go to the sun". The flight technician says, "Don't you know you'll burn up?" The blonde says "Well then I'll go at night."
-----

Two blondes walking down the street. One reaches into her pocketbook for a make up compact and looks into the mirror. "This picture looks like someone I know" she says. The other one has a look and says, "Of course dummy, it's ME...."

-----
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. So she went to a playground, grabbed a kid, and took him behind a tree. "I've kidnapped you!", said the blonde and then proceeded to write a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and place it under the pecan tree next to the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked under the tree and surely enough, a paper bag was sitting there. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

[Sarevok]

Take a look at the picture below. What do you see?

You saw a couple in an intimate pose, right?

Interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario.

What they WILL see, however, is the nine dolphins in the picture!

So, I guess we've already proven you're not a young innocent child... now... If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6 seconds, your mind is indeed corrupted and you may need help .

Ok, here's help.... look at the space between her right arm and her head, the tail is on her neck, follow it up. look at her left hip, follow the shaded part down, it's another one, and on his shoulder..... see them now?

[leojose]

You saw a couple in an intimate pose, right?

Interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario.

What they WILL see, however, is the nine dolphins in the picture!

So, I guess we've already proven you're not a young innocent child... now... If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6 seconds, your mind is indeed corrupted and you may need help .

Ok, here's help.... look at the space between her right arm and her head, the tail is on her neck, follow it up. look at her left hip, follow the shaded part down, it's another one, and on his shoulder..... see them now?

hey...you're text was not visible! (might send the wrong signals )

[Sahir]

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "Okay old fart, time for you to retire."

The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle all of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"

The young rooster says, "Beat it! You are washed up and I am taking over."

The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."

The young rooster laughs, "You know you don't stand a chance old man, so just to be fair I will give you a head start."

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is already about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs up his shotgun and boom, he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dangit, third gay rooster I bought this month."

[Sarevok]

hey...you're text was not visible! (might send the wrong signals )

I made it that way so that you'll look at the picture first . It would spoil the fun if you read the text first. So did you see the dolphins?

[Max Payne]

You saw a couple in an intimate pose, right?

eh where? I didn't see any intimate pose there..??

[Sarevok]

eh where? I didn't see any intimate pose there..??

I asked the same question myself.

[leojose]

eh where? I didn't see any intimate pose there..??

Well...actually the dolphins were in an intimate pose...but as you're not a dolphin its obvious you didn't notice...

[Max Payne]

that mean showing that picture to an adult dolphin it would see dolphins in intimate pose, and show it to child dolphin, it would see human in what positions..?

[Sarevok]

that mean showing that picture to an adult dolphin it would see dolphins in intimate pose, and show it to child dolphin, it would see human in what positions..?

My thoughts exactly.

[sunnypalsingh]

After driving up and down several times, Rick finally found a parking spot near the shopping center. He noticed another man driving very slowly in the same direction, and, since he was closer, Rick gave him the "Are you going to park there?" look. His responding gestures were very complicated.

First he shook his head. Next he pointed at Rick, then at the parking space and
then at himself, his watch and the shops. Finishing off, he frowned, raised his
palms upwards and shrugged.

Finally, Rick parked his car and walked over to the driver to make sure he didn't want the space. "You must be single", the man replied. "If you were married, you would've known that was universal sign for 'Go ahead and take the spot. I'm waiting for my wife."

[hankdane]

For those of you in California:

Posts 1141 and 1132 together seems like a pretty good description of Caltrans.