A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realises he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."
The man below says, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well", says the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help; and you're in the same position as you were before we met, but now it's my fault!"
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"Only buy something that you'd be perfectly happy to hold if the market shut down for 10 years." - Warren Buffett
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since
Tuesday, the 17th of August 2001.
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 17th of August 2001 at
1500 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love
affair would be on probation for a period of no less than three months and
depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.
Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous
relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to
promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and
entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on
your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I
am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter,
failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice and I
shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward
this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely, Max
MODERN REPLY TO MODERN LOVE LETTER
Dear Max,
Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased to inform you that I
hope to accept your proposal for romance.
However, you should be informed that there are certain conditions of
acceptance. Promotional prospects are to my satisfaction. However, please
enlighten me as to your retirement benefits. Gratuity should be generous.
I also need to be assured that there is sufficient security with regards to
this commitment. If there is any chance at all of retrenchment or
consequent disinterest on your part, then I should receive monetary
compensation according to union standards.
Due to the nature of my position, I am sure you will agree that an expense
account should be arranged for my access in light of the 'VIP'. I shall be
entertaining. In addition, housing and transport allowances should be in
order and nothing less than a Jaguar is in order.
Please also note that there should be no moonlighting restrictions placed
on myself. If you are still interested in the relationship, please reply on
an urgent basis as other prospective lovers have sent indications of
interest.
Please also note that my sister is happily employed.
Yours perhaps, Samantha!
Regards,
Ankush Mehta
"The Child is the father of the Man."
William Wordsworth
I managed to get a time of 0.046 It said that I had the reflexes of a snake
//I tried for about 20 times and it was just pure luck that I pressed the stop button at the right time
/** The only stupid question is the one you never ask. */
With my mouse at work I don't get less than 0.3. With the keyboard I get 0.28 and my mouse at home 0.25. Go figure ^^
Get this small utility to do basic syntax highlighting in vBulletin forums (like Codeguru) easily.
Supports C++ and VB out of the box, but can be configured for other languages.
Nice trick ^^ With the mouse button continually pressed, I get down to 1.8.
Get this small utility to do basic syntax highlighting in vBulletin forums (like Codeguru) easily.
Supports C++ and VB out of the box, but can be configured for other languages.
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside down from the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker asked me what I was doing? I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."
I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker followed me, the Boss said to her, "And where do you think you're going?"
She said, "I'm obviously going home too, I can't work in the dark!"
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