AAAh A joke(Lets share Jokes)

[The Saint]

My wife was attending an all-day job fair, so I was surprised when the phone rang and I heard her weary voice.

"Everything all right?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said. "I just wanted to talk to someone I didn't have to be nice to."

-- Eliezer Langer
Courtesy: Reader's Digest

[The Saint]

My husband had been stationed in Europe and away from home for what seemed like years when I went for my annual gynecological checkup. My doctor asked the usual questions, including what I was using for birth control. I gave the only possible response I could: "The Atlantic Ocean."

-- Vicki L. Bailey
Courtesy: Reader's Digest

[The Saint]

Everyone knows I'm a stickler for good spelling. So when an associate e-mailed technical documents asking me to "decifer" them, I had to set him straight.

"Decipher is spelled with a ph, not an f," I wrote. "In case you've forgotten, spell checker comes free with your Microsoft program."

A minute later came his reply: "Must be dephective."

-- Teresa Fisher
Courtesy: Reader's Digest

[kirants]

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college
graduation.
They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be
executed in the morning -
though none of them can remember what they did the night before.


The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is
asked if
she has any last words.
She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in
the
almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf Of the innocent."
They
throw the switch and nothing happens.


They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for
forgiveness,
and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words.
"I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the
power
of Justice
to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and
again, nothing happens.
Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and

release her.

The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says,
Well I'm from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree
in
Electrical Engineering,
and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you

don't plug this thing in.

[olivthill]

- Yes, they went hiking in the mountain overthere, and I have never seen them again.
- That's terrific, what happened?
- They went down on the other side.

[GremlinSA]

[GremlinSA]

[dglienna]

A kangaroo at the Sydney zoo kept getting out of his enclosure every night. Knowing that mature kangaroos could hop very high, the zoo officials replaced the eight-foot fence with a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. They tore down the ten-foot fence and put up a fifteen-foot fence. He was out again the next morning. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out.

When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"

The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody thinks to lock the gate at night!

[Thu]

Samatha has hidden his candy for over several years, and it is edible still even after having been discovered lately.

[Yemen1955]

what is the size of the candy ? Could you tell me plzzzzz ?

[Thu]

what is the size of the candy ? Could you tell me plzzzzz ?

5.9 inches long including the wooden stick based to hold the red candy on top, its diameter is around 1.5 inch, very goody.

[dglienna]

Gennaro is in this country for only 6 months.He walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store.

Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Boccelli leather shoes.

He wants those shoes so much...

it's all he can think about.

After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchases them.

Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement.

Gennaro seizes this opportunity to wear his new Boccelli leather shoes for the first time

He asks Sophia to dance and
as they dance he asks her,

'Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?'

Startled, Sophia replies,
'Yes, Gennaro, I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?'

Gennaro answers,
'I see the reflection in my new
$300 Boccelli leather shoes.

How do you like them?'

Next he asks Rosa to dance,
and after a few minutes he asks,

' Rosa , do you wear white panties tonight?'

Rosa answers,
'Yes, Gennaro, I do, but how do you know that?'

He replies,

'I see the reflection in my new
$300 Boccelli leather shoes.

How do you like them?'

Now as the evening is almost over
and the last song is being played,
Gennaro asks Carmela to dance.

Midway through the dance his face
turns red.

He states, 'Carmela, be stilla my heart, please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight,

please, please, tella me this true!'

Carmela smiles coyly and answers,

'Yes Gennaro, I wear no panties tonight.'

Gennaro gasps,

'Thanka God ..

I thought I had a CRACK in my
$300 Boccelli leather shoes!'

[Arjay]

A lady gets out of the shower and her husband gets in. The doorbell rings and the husband asked his wife if she could get it for him.. So she wraps a towel around her and heads down stairs.

She answers the door to find her husband's friend Bob standing there. He looks at her in awe. He said, "I'll give you $800.00 if you drop that towel!" She thinks for a minute and then she drops the towel. He gives her the money and then leaves.

The lady goes back upstairs to her husband. He asks, "Who was it?" She said, "It was Bob." He asks, "DID BOB GIVE YOU THAT $800.00 I LET HIM BORROW......?"

[Username555]

Summer is the right time for family reunion, it's warm from the inside

[asalways]

I am a bit close to tradition now; I was told that except whookers no one can take anything from a man that has two wives

I chuckle now because I could hehe